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Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.
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Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.
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Series
Every day throughout the month of November 2013 there was a new post from me answering the questions posed in the 30 Days of Submission meme that I’d seen going around. You gain a glimpse into who I am as a submissive and my relationship with KnyghtMare.
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Every day throughout the month of November 2013 there was a new post from me answering the questions posed in the 30 Days of Submission meme that I’d seen going around. You gain a glimpse into who I am as a submissive and my relationship with KnyghtMare.
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Series
This series will present to you another submissive's typical day of service to their Dominant so you can walk in their shoes for awhile. It's fun to learn and grow and understand where others are coming from. Do you have a story to share? This series is an ongoing one - so please feel free to send me your Day in the Life stories.
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This series will present to you another submissive's typical day of service to their Dominant so you can walk in their shoes for awhile. It's fun to learn and grow and understand where others are coming from. Do you have a story to share? This series is an ongoing one - so please feel free to send me your Day in the Life stories.
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Series
Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
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Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
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Article
For me, there will always be limits. I can see when a slave says they honestly don't have any limits they truly believe that they don't. And it very well could be the case. But turn around and talk to the Dominant and they will be able to list things that they would never do with their property - be it because they don't get off on it or because they value their property enough to not want to harm them. This for me is why no limits slavery does not exist.
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For me, there will always be limits. I can see when a slave says they honestly don't have any limits they truly believe that they don't. And it very well could be the case. But turn around and talk to the Dominant and they will be able to list things that they would never do with their property - be it because they don't get off on it or because they value their property enough to not want to harm them. This for me is why no limits slavery does not exist.
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Applying limits to your BDSM experience is necessary for negotiation purposes in play and in relationships. It's like a compatibility scale. The more items on the limit list that match the more likely you are to be compatible and have fun playing in the same way. Being a novice isn't a hindrance for everyone, some Dominants like to help a novice explore their limits.
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Applying limits to your BDSM experience is necessary for negotiation purposes in play and in relationships. It's like a compatibility scale. The more items on the limit list that match the more likely you are to be compatible and have fun playing in the same way. Being a novice isn't a hindrance for everyone, some Dominants like to help a novice explore their limits.
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When absolute trust is present, and the dominant is interested and experienced in helping to overcome fears and phobias, working through hard limits can be very empowering.
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When absolute trust is present, and the dominant is interested and experienced in helping to overcome fears and phobias, working through hard limits can be very empowering.
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I'd like you to understand that it is okay to find limits you didn't know where there. They could be play activities that you never experienced before that you found you don't like or it could be a pain or sensation edge. Either way, it does not make you any less of a person or a submissive or a masochist. It actually makes you that much more unique and special.
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I'd like you to understand that it is okay to find limits you didn't know where there. They could be play activities that you never experienced before that you found you don't like or it could be a pain or sensation edge. Either way, it does not make you any less of a person or a submissive or a masochist. It actually makes you that much more unique and special.
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When you are brand new to anything related to BDSM it is likely that you will not know many of your limits and that's okay. Make sure you are prepared to share that information if you want to play, but also to stop as soon as you think you've reached a limit.
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When you are brand new to anything related to BDSM it is likely that you will not know many of your limits and that's okay. Make sure you are prepared to share that information if you want to play, but also to stop as soon as you think you've reached a limit.
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Most of us have problems with really making the limit list a full picture of what your boundaries are and tend to stick with play activities.
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Most of us have problems with really making the limit list a full picture of what your boundaries are and tend to stick with play activities.
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