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Content related to "Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better"

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Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. Topping from the bottom is when you simultaneously adopt both roles. This could be in the form of giving commands, refusing requests or moving to control the location of impacts during play. Generally, it is frowned upon to try to force the Dominant’s hand to do something they do not wish to do.

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30 Days of Submission

Every day throughout the month of November 2013 there was a new post from me answering the questions posed in the 30 Days of Submission meme that I’d seen going around. You gain a glimpse into who I am as a submissive and my relationship with KnyghtMare.

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A Day in the Life

This series will present to you another submissive's typical day of service to their Dominant so you can walk in their shoes for awhile. It's fun to learn and grow and understand where others are coming from. Do you have a story to share? This series is an ongoing one - so please feel free to send me your Day in the Life stories.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Why I Think No Limits Slavery Does Not Exist

For me, there will always be limits. I can see when a slave says they honestly don't have any limits they truly believe that they don't. And it very well could be the case. But turn around and talk to the Dominant and they will be able to list things that they would never do with their property - be it because they don't get off on it or because they value their property enough to not want to harm them. This for me is why no limits slavery does not exist.

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Limits: Drawing That Line In The Sand

Applying limits to your BDSM experience is necessary for negotiation purposes in play and in relationships. It's like a compatibility scale. The more items on the limit list that match the more likely you are to be compatible and have fun playing in the same way. Being a novice isn't a hindrance for everyone, some Dominants like to help a novice explore their limits.

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What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene

I'd like you to understand that it is okay to find limits you didn't know where there. They could be play activities that you never experienced before that you found you don't like or it could be a pain or sensation edge. Either way, it does not make you any less of a person or a submissive or a masochist. It actually makes you that much more unique and special.

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What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits

When you are brand new to anything related to BDSM it is likely that you will not know many of your limits and that's okay. Make sure you are prepared to share that information if you want to play, but also to stop as soon as you think you've reached a limit.

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Everything That's Wrong with Your BDSM Limits List - And How To Fix It

Most of us have problems with really making the limit list a full picture of what your boundaries are and tend to stick with play activities.

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Beyond Limits: The Illusion of Safety

The only true limitations are those fundamental values that you carry at your core. The inviolate lines that you will not cross for to do so you believe would compromise who you believe yourself to be. That final line in the sand.

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