Submissive Guide Logo


Welcome to The Submissive Guide — a blog look at mentoring, self-taught training and BDSM exploration.
My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time slave in an M/s relationship.

I started blogging when I was exploring D/s online in 2003. I used it primarily as a way to get my thoughts together and hopefully to find people that understood what I was thinking at the time. I needed advice, mentors and helping hands.

Since then I have blogged in several different places, settling on I’ve developed opinions and thoughts on many topics within the the D/s dynamic and BDSM. I don’t consider myself to be an expert at anything at all but I do think that I’ve grown to enjoy sharing and writing about all the different themes that submission and service provide me.

As my blog grew in popularity I realized that I had a commodity that people could use. My insights and words. More than just the personal meandering thoughts I tend to gather on my blog, but more thoughtful help for submissives that are seeking advice, mentorship and someone who understands.

I am webslut to The Iron Gate, Dominant Guide, Submissive Journal Prompts. I also help my Master KnyghtMare with our shared goal of online kink services with Kink Network sites:

From Online, Long-Distance and Casual to Real-Life, Full-time Submission and Finally Slavery

I’ve been through it all and can give a submissive valid insights on all facets of exploration. I’ve been an online submissive, lived a long-distance service relationship and even played casually for awhile. I moved to live-in submission where we tried part time, just in the bedroom and finally settled on full-time D/s dynamic for many years. Now I’m a 24/7 slave and fully immersed in the M/s lifestyle.

In 2012 our relationship blossomed to a mono-poly (I’m monogamous, KM is not) triad so I am learning poly dynamics as well.

So, if you feel that I won’t understand where you are coming from, just try me. I might surprise you!

Why Submissive Guide?

This site is dedicated to helping submissives understand themselves and the service they wish to provide; from sexual to domestic, personal assistant to pain slut and everything in between.

I started this site in January of 2009 because I wanted to help others out there to understand the feelings and experiences that are new and sometimes puzzling. I’d like to be a mentor to novice submissives, develop a learning program of sorts and give you tips and information on how you can improve your personal submission with or without a partner. I’ll be regularly adding essays, reviews and perhaps a video or podcast or two.

I hope you enjoy the site.

What others are saying about Submissive Guide

Thank you very much for putting this all together. i am new to the lifestyle. i have met a wonderful Master who found your site and referred me to it. i have gleaned so much information. It has really given me so much wonderful information that i feel more enlightened and better equipped to understand what my Master is teaching me. There has been so many wonderful thoughts, ideas and pointers that I really can’t be more specific. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. — dita


I followed a link to your site and I have been reading it the last several days. I want to compliment you on the excellent job you have done with it. I am very impressed with many of the articles and blogs and other resources you list. In fact I have given the site to my LDR submissive because she is on the new side and I thought it would be helpful to her.

But I must say several of the articles I have found helpful to me too! I hope you don’t mind one of us D types lurking around.

I wanted to let you know how impressed I am with your site. Thank you for publishing it! – LGM


I just wantedto drop you a line and tell you how much I enjoy your website. I am a newbie to the lifestyle – started with reading books, articles on the internet and have begun chatting on line. I have met one dominant, had one meeting that was very brief but seemed to go well – I was comfortable with him (normally a very shy person and don’t open easily at first) and he seemed pleased. I am trying so hard to take it slow but am so anxious to experience all that I have read/learned about.

Again, just wanted to give you a little nudge of encouragement and to let you know that your words help those of us new to the lifestyle. Thank you again –Terri


I wished to write to you to thank you for taking the time to put together your wonderful site. I stumbled across it late last night while searching for a collar that Sir has instructed me to buy to formalize our relationship, and I read with great interest. I plan to show Him your site this evening, but I have already undertaken some of the exercises you have shared. In reading, I realized how much work we have already done in our short month long relationship; particularly in training. I took the time to formally write down all the ways in which my own instincts or behaviors have been modified or finessed to be more pleasing to Him, and this was truly a labor of love, so I appreciate it. — A


I just would like to tell you how much I love reading your posts. I’m new to the lifestyle and I want you to know how much this has helped me and my Owner. I am an avid follower!!! — Julia


Contributions and Sharing

I do not know everything there is to know about everything. If you feel that you can contribute an essay or series of essays on a topic that you feel you know a lot on, please feel free to send me information via my contact page. I would be happy to hear what you could provide.

I am also open to being a guest blogger on your site. If you would like me to write something for your blog or website, please contact me. I would be happy to contribute to your site as long as I can have a short promotion of mine in return.