Safety comes in many forms and at any level of risk awareness. One of the very first things you learn when you encounter BDSM is the use of safewords. But now, I feel it’s time to gather everything together and really dig deep into safewords; from their use, the safety implied and some of the problems safewords cause.
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You should never fear using your safeword. There are ways to deal with the guilt, disappointment, fear, sense of failure for using your safeword and the failing to use your safeword at all that many of us feel at one time or another.
Read The Article | Find SimilarTopping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. Topping from the bottom is when you simultaneously adopt both roles. This could be in the form of giving commands, refusing requests or moving to control the location of impacts during play. Generally, it is frowned upon to try to force the Dominant’s hand to do something they do not wish to do.
Read The Series | Find SimilarLimits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.
Read The Series | Find SimilarTo me there is quite a difference between being submissive and a slave. A submissive retains the power over themselves and their body. Many are not going to agree with me on this. I don't feel that discipline, true discipline should be put in place with a sub. If a submissive still has power over themselves then how can they really mess up to the point of punishment outside of play. Slaves on the other hand, particularly those who live it 24/7 sometimes need punishment just for the sake of training, being kept in line and as a reminder of their place.
Read The Article | Find SimilarThe false edge is not a physical limitation, that's a limit. The false edge is the sense you are going to lose control if you continue. There comes a moment in intense play where you can feel afraid and a sense of panic if you allow your Top to continue.
Read The Article | Find SimilarThe checklist is a great tool to track the progression of your submission. Have you revisited your checklist lately?
Read The Article | Find SimilarI thought by not being selfish, I was going to be a better slave and I found out the hard way, that wasn’t true. You have to be selfish once and awhile to take care of yourself and to meet your own needs.
Read The Article | Find SimilarThere's a lot you can do to learn about BDSM and what your limits might be.
Read The Article | Find SimilarThe only true limitations are those fundamental values that you carry at your core. The inviolate lines that you will not cross for to do so you believe would compromise who you believe yourself to be. That final line in the sand.
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