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Content related to "The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene"

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Limits

Limits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.

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Beginning BDSM: Using Safewords for Safe Play

A safeword is how you can protect yourself with a trusting partner.

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What You Should Know About Safewords

BDSM play can be risky, does bring about the potential for uncomfortable situations, raises physical limitations or triggers mental or emotional walls to come crashing down. In any of these instances, it would be very helpful to have a way to alert the dominant. Safewords are a verbal security blanket.

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A Submissive Approach to Safe, Sane and Consensual

When you first enter the more public BDSM community one of the largest catch phrases you will here is SSC, also known as Safe, Sane and Consensual. It is a security blanket approach to safety when playing and negotiation of play. As a submissive, you have a lot of responsibility to keeping yourself safe and well.

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Be Prepared: Put Your Health and Safety First For Successful BDSM Scenes

Let's face it, the excitement leading up to the scene can cause you to forget to prepare appropriately. No matter the type of play, being an informed bottom can help create the tools needed to foster a fantastic scene for both you and your play partner.

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Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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You Could Be in Danger While in Top/Sub Space - Learn How to Protect Yourself

What if I told you the impaired judgment, the slow verbal responses, the sweats or shakes and the sluggish behavior can be dangerous to your health and others if you don’t know how to deal with it? Those warning labels aren’t just for alcohol and prescription drugs.

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The Anatomy of A BDSM Scene: What Happens?

Let me describe to you what a first scene might be like.

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How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

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The BDSM Checklist that Will Really Help You

BDSM checklists all live under different names. You can call them limit lists, negotiation lists, negotiation checklists and perhaps ones I've never heard. They are all based on a similar idea. If you make a list of the things you enjoy or don't enjoy you can easily share them with the person you want to play with to find out if you can build a scene that will satisfy both of your needs and desires.

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