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Content related to "The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene"

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Limits

Limits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Series

Journaling in Submission

One of the tools that Dominants can use for communication is journaling. But you don’t have to be in a relationship to keep a journal. How do you start one? What goes in it? Dive into the 30 Days of Submissive Journaling series or one of the many other articles about this very useful tool in a submissive’s kit.

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Beginning BDSM: Using Safewords for Safe Play

A safeword is how you can protect yourself with a trusting partner.

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The Posh Girl's Guide to Play

Sure she has some creative ideas on how to play out scenes, but she won't get my support for this book.

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50 Shades of Curious by Bo Blaze

Blaze put together “50 Shades of Curious” to teach those new into the lifestyle how to practice BDSM in a safe, sane, and consensual manner.

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Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns

There is no wonder why so many people recommend this book as one of the first books for someone just starting out in BDSM. It has everything you could wish for in a complete overview of BDSM book.

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Article

Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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How Protocol Develops in D/s Relationships

I'm going to cover the basics of protocol, some different types of protocol and then talk about how to develop your own protocol in your relationship.

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Article

What Traditional Submissives can Learn from Hypnosis Fetishists

The hypnosis fetish, however, is relatively new. And because of its newness, traditional submissives sometimes dismiss hypnosis as unnecessary or a cheat. But hypnofetishists have learned a lot about sex and relationships in the past twenty years. And traditionalists could learn something from us: the importance of rapport.

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