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What Do Female Dominants Desire in a Male Submissive?

Do dominant women like this, that or the other thing? Unfortunately, there is no one set of ideal submissive traits that can be emulated. Indeed, if you ask these questions of twenty different Dominas, you’ll get at least twenty different answers. Each Dominant has her own idea of what makes a perfect submissive or slave. Some like youth and physical fitness, others like maturity and experience, tall or short, eloquent or not-so-much, pain slut or light-weight, sissy or not, emotive or the strong/silent type… well, as you can imagine, that list goes on and on. The problem, as I see it, is that too many (prospective) submissives get bogged down in trivial matters when they should be focusing on simple truth and sincerity.

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Setting Goals

No matter how you go about it, setting realistic goals and then working towards success is a step by step process. You have the tools available to make changes in your life if you want them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Treat them like anything else in your life worth doing and you can make it. Use the resources below to make the progress stick.

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Why Safety is Preached to Novices and Why It's Important to Know Anyway

I believe that as you mature in your place in BDSM the often preached safety items can become obsolete or you may develop your own opinions that don't match what you were taught as a novice. There's nothing wrong with that, but knowing where you started and the importance of knowing these basic safety rules is that foundation.

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A Slave Heart – Do You Have One? Do You Need One?

No one should judge you for how you want to live your life (and if they do then they are the ones in the wrong). So, imagine my wonderment when early on in my personal development I encountered submissives and slaves that say they have a slave heart and they have a heart to serve. Or better yet, that you have to have a slave heart in order to serve. They went on to say that they don't have to work on their submission, that it comes from the heart and is easy for them.

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A Safer Kinky Sex How-To

Many of the BDSM activities we may engage in are inherently sexual in nature, even if no sex actually occurs. Being aware and using safe sex barriers when necessary is your protection from disease and infection. I'm amazed by casual play partners that don't employ these simple techniques to protect themselves and future partners. But even monogamous relationships might use safe sex barriers to prevent pregnancy and for ease of clean up.

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Dealing With Submissive Burnout

There are times where I don’t feel like being a slave. The good thing, burnout isn’t a permanent problem.

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What a Romantic Dominant/submissive Relationship Looks Like

For us romance is a part of our M/s relationship. Without knowing he loves me completely I don't think I could submit to him in the same way.

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Learning To Be a 24/7 Submissive Is Like...

You practice, adapt and learn what works for you and discard the things that don't. If you apply it to your everyday life, make it a part of you and don't consider it an on/off switch, then you too can be 24/7.

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Tips For Those Struggling to Enter the Local BDSM Community

I understand. You don't know anybody there. There are about a bajillion worst case scenarios that your brain has conjured up ever since you first desired to head out into the local community.

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How To Navigate Public BDSM Play as a Transgender Person

Do what makes you feel most comfortable, and you’ll be doing it “right.”

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