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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Finding Your Tribe-The Importance of the Kink Community

I realized there was a lot out there I was missing and how important it was to get involved in the local groups and to have mentors and other s-types that I could talk to about things.

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Some Misconceptions about the Caregiver/Little Dynamic

Debunking some misconceptions of the Caregiver dynamic.

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Ethical BDSM Falls on Both Sides of the Slash

Each partner is responsible for making a relationship ethical. No matter what side of the slash you fall on.

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Feeling Like a Failure as a Slave

I know I’m human. Since I am human, that means I’m going to make mistakes. Here are some other tips I’ve found that can help when you find yourself feeling like a failure.

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Dealing with Guilt as a Submissive

When it comes to dealing with guilt, you have to talk about it. You can’t just shove it somewhere deep inside and expect that to take care of everything. Neither can you throw yourself into an activity and consider it done. You have to talk it out with the person, no matter how difficult that may be.

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7 Tips for Handling Holiday Stress

For many out there, the holidays aren’t the most wonderful time of the year. Take a look at 7 helpful tips and tricks you can use to overcome stress and depression during the holidays.

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BDSM How To: Wax Play

A fantastic little how to get started with Wax Play! Important points include candle temperature and what you need to get going with your own scene.

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Stop Sub Shaming: It’s Not Cool to be Judgy

It’s not cool to sub shame. But, in this world of kink, it’s a very real concern. Here’s how you can identify it and what you should do when your own thoughts lean towards being judgemental instead of open and accepting.

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Remember Who You Are - Staying True to Yourself in a D/s Relationship

No matter what kind of relationship you are in or what kind of dynamic you have going on within that relationship, it is extremely important that you have your own sense of self and not get completely wrapped up in being a part of a couple. There is so much more to you than just being a s-type and being involved in a relationship.

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