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Sample Dominant/submissive Contract

The first of three contract examples from Mrs. Darling. This one is from her book, retelling her own submissive discovery tale, Darling Discovered. Feel free to use this contract as a template for what will or will not work for your relationship.

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What Do Female Dominants Desire in a Male Submissive?

Do dominant women like this, that or the other thing? Unfortunately, there is no one set of ideal submissive traits that can be emulated. Indeed, if you ask these questions of twenty different Dominas, you’ll get at least twenty different answers. Each Dominant has her own idea of what makes a perfect submissive or slave. Some like youth and physical fitness, others like maturity and experience, tall or short, eloquent or not-so-much, pain slut or light-weight, sissy or not, emotive or the strong/silent type… well, as you can imagine, that list goes on and on. The problem, as I see it, is that too many (prospective) submissives get bogged down in trivial matters when they should be focusing on simple truth and sincerity.

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Talking Even When Words Are Hard: Opening the Lines of Communication With Your Dominant

Your partner cannot read your mind. If you are not practicing open communication, then they cannot know what is bothering you, even if they know you very well.

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The Real Meaning Behind Service and Serving as a Submissive

Service is any activity or function that you fill to make your dominant partner's life easier. This could be as simple as preparing their coffee, laying out their clothes for them or performing domestic chores. Yes, it does include the play and sex aspects of some relationships, but not all of them are wired this way.

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A Submissive Approach to Safe, Sane and Consensual

When you first enter the more public BDSM community one of the largest catch phrases you will here is SSC, also known as Safe, Sane and Consensual. It is a security blanket approach to safety when playing and negotiation of play. As a submissive, you have a lot of responsibility to keeping yourself safe and well.

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Those First Few Baby Steps into BDSM and Submission

Everyone has to start here. The very beginning, where all the jargon of BDSM starts to fill your mind and overwhelm your feelings. You think you are a pervert, or not normal. You could even be trying to suppress those kinky thoughts from your mind. But they keep creeping back in, don't they. For the brave souls that start searching for a common thread in their heads, a like-mindedness you can be sure that there is a sea of differences to swim through to get there.

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Male Submission – Selfishness

Many male subs portray themselves through their own words that they are selfish in that they do not actually care what a potential dominant partner wants or needs.

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Brimming with Confidence - Learning to Love Your Submissive Potential

You are worth it. No matter what sort of submissive you are, you have potential to excel in everything you put your mind to. All it requires is three simple steps and you will be well on your way to realizing your potential.

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Why I Could Never Return to a Vanilla Relationship

We are the sum of our experiences, after all, and if I hadn't learned these lessons I don’t think I’d be where I am today.

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I'm Ready to Get Kinky, How Do I Talk To My Partner?

I am not satisfied with my boyfriend. I don't know how to go about telling him, I want to be dominated.

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