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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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What You Need To Know About Using Contracts to Negotiate a Relationship

In a D/s relationship, it is not unfamiliar to also draft a contract in which to declare your intentions with each other. These are not required, of course, and some people will proclaim the invalidity of these documents to anyone who will listen. I feel that the creation of a contract has some very useful and valuable importance to a growing relationship.

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Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 2

Once you start in training you have a better chance to evaluate your new Dom/me. Is the Dom creating a positive learning environment, or does s/he make you feel that you are constantly failing his/her orders? Was it really a newbie mistake, or is there a lack of training that is causing the failure? Submission can easily set up a feeling of need and dependency on the Dom/me.

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Using Contracts in D/s Relationships

A contract is not a legally binding document, but more of an agreement between two consenting individuals. Some are very formal and have multiple pages, others are as brief as a few paragraphs. A D/s contract is a lot like a pre-nuptial agreement.

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Why A Punishment Dynamic May be Just What You Need

Thinking about your current situation and how you manage your life right now, do you think you would benefit from a punishment dynamic?

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When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship

I am going to tell you, on no uncertain terms that if your dominant is hurting you out of anger this is abusive.

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Sample Consensual "Slavery" Contract

A simple sample contract you can use to create your own.

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About Punishment

Punishment is one of those areas which is not what it seems. Before you can develop tools or methods of punishment you have to look at the concepts behind the issue itself.

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How to Approach a Couple into Kink and Polyamory when You are New

Be realistic with yourself about what you are offering, but when you are new to Kink and Polyamory there's a lot of conversation that needs to happen. Here's what you should discuss.

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Sample Master/slave Contract with Ethical Non-Monogamy Section

A sample D/s contract that also includes a non-monogamy section. Feel free to copy, edit and use this one for creating your own relationship contact.

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