My First Anticipatory Service and 3 Lessons It Taught Me

In essence, anticipatory service is about being able to see patterns in the procedure, and it can be difficult to track patterns across a wide array of your Dominant’s vocational, recreational, and habitual tendencies. If you have just one aspect to focus on it, increases your ability to observe and retain their pattern of doing things in that area so you can help them through their day efficiently with anticipatory service.

How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

How a Submissive Can Have Two Dominants and Make It Work (Hint: It Takes Communication)

Having 2 dominants has worked out very smoothly for the three of us actually.

Kink and Mental Health: Can “sub drop” be a trigger?

With regard to the question of whether or not sub drop could trigger a depressive episode (for lack of a better description), my honest answer has to be, I don't know. In this wide world, where things are constantly changing, and everyone's just a little bit different than everyone else, it would be impossible for me to say for sure how anyone I haven't dealt with for a decent amount of time will react to any circumstance.

Some Thoughts on Domestic Service from a Male Submissive

When luna indicated that she was going to emphasize domestic service at the Sub Guide this month, it reminded me that when I tell people I am primarily a service submissive I am frequently asked: “What is that?”. The follow-up question is often, “What do you get out of that?” It seemed an opportune time to tackle these questions. (Sometimes the follow-up question is “What are you secondarily, then?” To which I always reply, “Whatever She needs me to be, of course.”)

So what is a service submissive? Simply put, it’s a sub (male or female) that takes care of household chores and similar tasks. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic duties might be performed by a service submissive. We essentially take the role of butler, maid, chauffeur, gardener or cook.

Keys to a Successful Relationship: Trust is Like a Mirror...

Trust is an extremely important factor in the lifestyle, and not just in the bedroom. You can’t have the trust in the bedroom if you don’t have the trust outside of the bedroom.

Playtime Activities You Can Do in Long Distance Relationships

A list of games that my Dom and I play, which you might feel free to pull apart and put together in new, exciting ways that work for your Dom and yourself.

How Can You Reduce the Appearance of Marks and Bruises After Play?

I work in a very conservative environment, so we try to keep marks to places that can easily be covered. That doesn’t always work and it limits our play field greatly in the warmer months because I live in a hellishly humid place in summer. Any suggestions?

Some Misconceptions about the Caregiver/Little Dynamic

Debunking some misconceptions of the Caregiver dynamic.

Fear in Submission

Fear can be good, because it makes us take a moment and stop and think about what we’re about to do, especially when that thing we’re about to do is stepping out of our comfort zone. Making the decision to submit, is definitely one of those decisions.