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Content related to "Submitting Is Not Without Personal Responsibility"

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The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene

Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.

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Do Bottoms Have a Bad Rap Among Submissives?

When we think of bottoms or have interactions with bottoms, there are many negative connotations that come to mind.

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The Abuse Debate: A Matter of Acceptance Not Consent

BDSM relationships make the argument on abuse much more complicated than it already is, and those in TPE relationship have an even harder time than that. For non-kinky people, it's pretty easy to define abuse. How do you define abuse if the way the dictionary defines it just does not apply to you?

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Your Responsibilities in Play - In and Out of a Relationship

The responsibility of a submissive doesn’t disappear at any time. You need to look out for yourself and learn to communicate effectively with those you wish to play with, whether it’s the first or 500th time you’ve done so.

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How Can You Reduce the Appearance of Marks and Bruises After Play?

I work in a very conservative environment, so we try to keep marks to places that can easily be covered. That doesn’t always work and it limits our play field greatly in the warmer months because I live in a hellishly humid place in summer. Any suggestions?

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We Do Not Out Each Other: Protecting People's Privacy

Protecting each other's privacy is so important. We don't out each other. We just don't.

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Defining Sub Space

Mistress Steel breaks down the many levels of subspace, as she sees them, and how to navigate them in play.

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How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

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The Importance of Safety, Risk-Awareness and Consent in Pre-Scene BDSM Negotiation

Negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse - they are essential parts of kinky play. But far too many people gloss over how important it is to be really good at negotiating so that you can have great kinky fun. And you want to have kinky fun, right?

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For Consent to Count…ASSENT Has to Matter

I've been following an epic thread on consent for months now, watching sadly as many of the comments devolve into dangerously magical thinking and wishing somebody would speak up, and say "Whoa. There's a point at which personal responsibility comes into play here."

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