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Content related to "Why I Used to Believe I Could Never Be a Slave"

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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What's the Difference Between a Lifestyler and a Player?

There are all sorts of labels that people can wear in this lifestyle. Many of these have definitions that fluctuate and change depending on the situation. These are submissive, slave, real, true, Dominant, Master, and the list goes on. No one can agree on what these labels mean for the community.

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Should There Be Clear Definitions to Label Yourself In This Lifestyle?

So should there be a solid set of definitions that people can choose from? Other than the dictionary definitions that is; something lifestyle related that we can point to and say if you fit into a, b and c you are submissive, but if you feel more like d, e and f you are slave. If we had to come up with specific definitions what would be in your list for each label?

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A Slave Heart – Do You Have One? Do You Need One?

No one should judge you for how you want to live your life (and if they do then they are the ones in the wrong). So, imagine my wonderment when early on in my personal development I encountered submissives and slaves that say they have a slave heart and they have a heart to serve. Or better yet, that you have to have a slave heart in order to serve. They went on to say that they don't have to work on their submission, that it comes from the heart and is easy for them.

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Single in the Scene Part I: Boundaries

By setting our boundaries, we can ensure that we are navigating the ‘lifestyle’ waters as safely as possible. This is a personal responsibility that each of us have that is at its core about self preservation.

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What is Submission to You?

You can learn and grow in your own personal submission without the aide of someone else. I've seen it countless times. Prove to yourself that you have what it takes to be the best submissive you can be.

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30 Days of Submission Challenge: Day 1 – Labeling My Submission

Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label?

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Why You Should Know the Truth About Topping from the Bottom

Ask one hundred submissives why they consider topping from the bottom as bad and they will likely come up with something relating to "forcing the Dominant's hand." They'd be right. The real, honest to goodness, truth is that forcing the Dominant's hand is the only way you can bottom-top. How you do that is situational, different for different people or different reasons and you really can't list the exact ways that it comes about.

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Calling Him Sir Should Mean Something, Right?

Calling him Sir, I have a hard time doing all the time. I feel that I want to know how he feels about me before he gets called that very special word.

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Micromanagement and Macromanagement: What's the Difference?

Like everything in life, there are pros and cons to both types of management styles and I want to share some of those with you now.

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