When you enter a training program as intensive as orgasm training you can get overwhelmed easily. There is a lot of weight on the submissive to perform and succeed.
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The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.
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The idea of orgasm control or denial strikes fears in novice submissives. "What do you mean give over my ability to orgasm whenever I want?" Sure you could think of it that way, but in terms of your submission it could mean so much more.
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It all starts with your mind. As a submissive, if you feel that it just can't happen then it won't. You have to be willing to accept the possibility that an orgasm without physical stimulus is possible and that you want it.
Read The Article | Find SimilarNot long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
Read The Series | Find SimilarI'm going to talk about a submissive's mindset when it comes to repeat patterns in behavior and why we just can't keep our feet on the straight and narrow.
Read The Article | Find SimilarIn D/s sexuality one of the more common rules is that the Dominant controls the orgasms and sexual release of the submissive. Some require that the submissive not even touch themselves without the say so of the Dominant. In this style of power exchange it is familiar territory that the submissive will learn how to ask for an orgasm whether in or outside of a scene.
Read The Article | Find SimilarThe Slave Journal is a log of command, instructions, and requests from the Dominant. When they ask for you to do something, you write it down. Things like new rules, mention that they prefer Charmin toilet paper or that they love the red dress you wore the other night.
Read The Article | Find SimilarLearn about orgasm control and how to get started adding it to your own sexual exchanges!
Read The Article | Find SimilarOnce you have control over the orgasm by needing that trigger from the Dominant you can start to move the sensation from being derived in the genitals to the genitals and something else.
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