When you enter a training program as intensive as orgasm training you can get overwhelmed easily. There is a lot of weight on the submissive to perform and succeed. Much of the detailed accounts I've read talk about what goes on as far as the training but never how the submissive internalizes it and makes it work (or not work) for the relationship.
First, we have to understand that orgasm training may not work for everyone. The key here is that the Dominant and submissive need to believe that it can happen. If you enter the training with any sort of doubt then that seed is going to potentially infect the whole process and it won't work. Orgasm on command training works on the Pavlovian Training Theory.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, it's a classical conditioning where a form of one stimulus signals another. In the case of Pavlov, he trained his dogs that whenever they heard a bell they would get a treat. It got to the point that the dogs would begin to salivate every time they heard a bell even if a treat was not forthcoming it is what they expected by the ringing of the bell. It's how many people train their dogs today. The clicker used in training tells the animal to do (or not do) something and they get a reward for performing.
Now, submissives are not dogs, but we are all subject to the same form of classical training. It can and does work for a variety of things in our life. Can you think of any? A few of my examples;
- Seeing a piece of cake and your mouth watering
- Watching a fast food commercial and suddenly craving shakes and fries
- Smelling mothballs and having memories of your grandparents' attic
- Hearing tires screeching and you flinch from a memory of a past car accident
When you enter into training, as the submissive there are a few key tools you need to have and use repeatedly. No, I'm not talking about the Hitachi Magic Wand, although that is a good idea.
Trust is the cornerstone of any good relationship and with training that will alter your conditioned responses such as this you need to have complete trust in your partner and trust that he or she will take care to not harm you once you've learned the skill of orgasm on command. I know that when I finally reach success at this that he will only use it for the enjoyment of both of us and likely won't humiliate me in front of unknowing others by having me "perform." We've talked about this at length and you should too.
Honesty and Openness
Trust leads us to honesty and openness. A submissive should be comfortable with their body and be able to talk about how things feel and the responses you are having during training. This is also not the place to fake orgasms! If you can't get there, tell them. It's always the journey, not the destination. Don't hide your body's responses or hold back the natural reactions. These are all cues to your Dominant for them to gauge your arousal and impending orgasm. This is important for them and pleasurable for both of you.
As I've said above, you need to believe that it can be done. Pavlov's dogs believed that there would be food when the bell rang and their brain prepared their mouths for it each and every time. But it took a lot of training to get there. You will have pitfalls and it often takes months to reach a new level or success. Do not despair. Just believe.
There will be lots of orgasms on this journey. You will have sore genitals, fatigue, and physical stress. But you will also have joy and pleasure, fun and sexual fulfillment. It's worth trying and it's worth believing it can happen.
In the last part of this series will talk about the results and variations that can happen once you succeed in orgasm on command. I'll see you then.