Once you’ve decided to enter an orgasm on command training, it can help to learn what the submissive goes through to wire their brain so that they can hold back their orgasm to when you wish them to have it. It’s not easy.
If you want to read the introductory article, check out Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training.
Orgasm on command training is more common with female submissives, and this series is written with them in mind, but any gender can try and learn how to do this. It is a mental exercise that can reap physical responses.
When you enter a training program as intensive as orgasm training you can get overwhelmed easily. There is a lot of weight on the submissive to perform and succeed. Many of the detailed accounts I've read talk about what goes on as far as the training but never how the submissive internalizes it and makes it work (or not work) for the relationship. My own experiences with orgasm training have shown me that there’s so much more to it than applying theory and patient practice.
First, we have to understand that orgasm training may not work for everyone. The key here is that the Dominant and submissive need to believe that it can happen. If you enter the training with any sort of doubt then that seed is going to potentially infect the whole process and it won't work.
Orgasm on command training works on the Pavlovian Training Theory. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, it's classical conditioning where a form of one stimulus signals another. In the case of Pavlov, he trained his dogs that whenever they heard a bell they would get a treat. It got to the point that the dogs would begin to salivate every time they heard a bell even if a treat was not forthcoming it is what they expected by the ringing of the bell. It's how many people train their dogs today. The clicker used in training tells the animal to do (or not do) something and they get a reward for performing.
Now, submissives are not dogs, but we are all susceptible to the same form of classical training. It can and does work for a variety of things in our life. Can you think of any? A few of my examples;
- Seeing a piece of cake and your mouth watering
- Watching a fast-food commercial and suddenly craving shakes and fries
- Smelling mothballs and having memories of your grandparents' attic
- Hearing tires screeching and you flinch from a memory of a past car accident
When you enter into training, as the submissive there are a few key tools you need to have and use repeatedly. No, I'm not talking about the Original Magic Wand, although that is a good tool to have.
Trust is the cornerstone of any good relationship and with training that will alter your conditioned responses such as this you need to have complete trust in your partner and trust that he or she will take care to not harm you once you've learned the skill of orgasm on command. I know that when I finally reach success at this that he will only use it for the enjoyment of both of us and likely won't humiliate me in front of unknowing others by having me "perform." We've talked about this at length and you should too.
The training program can take a long time to build, but also, in the unfortunate event that the relationship ends, it could take a long time for the orgasm trigger to dissolve, thus freeing yourself or more autonomous orgasms. If you are concerned about this, ask your partner if they could help build in a trigger to allow you to orgasm without their command.
You shouldn’t be too concerned about not being able to orgasm if your relationship ends, however. Since trust is that cornerstone, once that trust is broken you could very easily and naturally untangle the training as well.
Honesty and Openness
Trust leads us to honesty and openness. A submissive should be comfortable with their body and be able to talk about how things feel and the responses you are having during training. This is also not the place for fake orgasms! If you can't get there, tell them. It's always the journey, not the destination. Don't hide your body's responses or hold back the natural reactions. These are all cues to your Dominant for them to gauge your arousal and impending orgasm. This is important for them and pleasurable for both of you.
As I've said above, you need to believe that it can be done. Pavlov's dogs believed that there would be food when the bell rang and their brain prepared their mouths for it each and every time. But it took a lot of training to get there. You will have pitfalls and it often takes months to reach a new level of success. Do not despair. Just believe.
There will be lots of orgasms on this journey. You will have sore genitals, fatigue, and physical stress. But you will also have joy and pleasure, fun and sexual fulfillment. It's worth trying and it's worth believing it can happen.
Want more? Check out Power Over Pleasure: A Training Program for Female Orgasms By Vocal Command by Paul Rulof on Amazon Kindle
In the last part of this series will talk about the results and variations that can happen once you succeed in an orgasm on command. I'll see you then.