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What Traditional Submissives can Learn from Hypnosis Fetishists

The hypnosis fetish, however, is relatively new. And because of its newness, traditional submissives sometimes dismiss hypnosis as unnecessary or a cheat. But hypnofetishists have learned a lot about sex and relationships in the past twenty years. And traditionalists could learn something from us: the importance of rapport.

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What Do Female Dominants Desire in a Male Submissive?

Do dominant women like this, that or the other thing? Unfortunately, there is no one set of ideal submissive traits that can be emulated. Indeed, if you ask these questions of twenty different Dominas, you’ll get at least twenty different answers. Each Dominant has her own idea of what makes a perfect submissive or slave. Some like youth and physical fitness, others like maturity and experience, tall or short, eloquent or not-so-much, pain slut or light-weight, sissy or not, emotive or the strong/silent type… well, as you can imagine, that list goes on and on. The problem, as I see it, is that too many (prospective) submissives get bogged down in trivial matters when they should be focusing on simple truth and sincerity.

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The Importance of Consent in D/s Negotiation

Consent and Negotiation are probably something that we think about but don’t really acknowledge daily. It is important none the less to think about and address in a Dominant/submissive relationship.

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Mentors

Applying mentoring to a BDSM context a mentor is someone that guides and advises a newbie on what to expect, things they might want learn and other items. I believe a mentor should be on the same level as you. There are many opinions out there, but common sense advice can be found in the following series of articles about mentors.

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Setting Goals

No matter how you go about it, setting realistic goals and then working towards success is a step by step process. You have the tools available to make changes in your life if you want them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Treat them like anything else in your life worth doing and you can make it. Use the resources below to make the progress stick.

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How To Identify Potential Fake Dominants, Predators and Posers

Fake Dominants are everywhere and have many tricks up their sleeve. I'm sure I've even scratched the surface of what things they can do to try to get you to believe in them and open up. Stay safe, use your common sense and if it feels wrong it probably is.

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Serving and Submission after an Abusive History

Having been in the lifestyle for almost two years now, one of the things that I have noticed is that I am facing a lot of issues due to abuse from my past. Not from any Dominant in the lifestyle, just from others in my past. I've learned enough that if you have similar past experiences, I'd like to share some of it with you.

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If I feel Jealousy can I still be Poly?

Almost all of us have felt jealousy at one time or another. The best thing anyone has ever said to me in my understanding of jealousy was that “jealousy is just another emotion”. Why should we treat jealousy any different than any other negative emotion?

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Don’t Touch Other People’s Property: The Golden Rule at BDSM Functions

A golden rule of BDSM is that you do not touch other people’s property. Perhaps this man didn’t get the memo or didn’t realize that people can be property too. It’s hard to speculate now. Either way, let’s talk about the importance of keeping your hands to yourself when in a BDSM social or other form of D/s gathering.

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Submissive Advent - Day 7: Random Acts of Kindness

As submissives we often forget that helping others also feeds our need to submit.

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