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Article

The Formal Collar

The Formal Collar is offered by the Dominant with the intent to formalize the bond and attachment between themselves and their submissive. It is a recognition of commitment, deep emotional feelings, devotion, mutual respect, and consideration. It expresses a belief that the Dominant and submissive share similar ideals and a genuine and growing desire to share each other’s lives over perhaps the rest of their lives.

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Series

BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships are still relationships that require a different approach to develop the same connection and intimacy. Sure, the physical contact is far less than a face to face relationship but for some people, a long distance relationship is a smart first step or only step if you are unable to explore BDSM in any other way.

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Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 2

Once you start in training you have a better chance to evaluate your new Dom/me. Is the Dom creating a positive learning environment, or does s/he make you feel that you are constantly failing his/her orders? Was it really a newbie mistake, or is there a lack of training that is causing the failure? Submission can easily set up a feeling of need and dependency on the Dom/me.

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Why Safety is Preached to Novices and Why It's Important to Know Anyway

I believe that as you mature in your place in BDSM the often preached safety items can become obsolete or you may develop your own opinions that don't match what you were taught as a novice. There's nothing wrong with that, but knowing where you started and the importance of knowing these basic safety rules is that foundation.

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Is The Influx of Bossy Newbies Killing Old School Traditions?

What can i say to those who snub their noses at the old school ways of BDSM to maybe make them see how damaging what they are doing is? Or even possibly help to change their attitudes?

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RACK: The Risk Acceptable Safety Mantra

Understanding the differences of RACK and SSC can help you decide if your preference for activities is more for one mantra or another.

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Entering the Community: Who You'll Meet and What You Can Expect at a Play Party/BDSM Dungeon

What is it like at a play party? I'm going to tell you! Come learn who you'll meet and what you'll see (and do) while there.

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The Art of Apology: Knowing When to Apologize

How do you know when you owe someone an apology? Continuing kallista's series on apologizing with knowing when an apology is necessary.

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Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol (Part 6 of 7) - A Few Notes on High Protocol

While good manners are important in all situations, leather protocol should not be a source of anxiety for novice doms and subs. In part 6 of Ambrosio's series on Protocol and Etiquette, a few rules for formal introductions, dining and general "vanilla" etiquette are covered.

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