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Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships are still relationships that require a different approach to develop the same connection and intimacy. Sure, the physical contact is far less than a face to face relationship but for some people, a long distance relationship is a smart first step or only step if you are unable to explore BDSM in any other way.

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BDSM Checklists

If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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Using Contracts in D/s Relationships

A contract is not a legally binding document, but more of an agreement between two consenting individuals. Some are very formal and have multiple pages, others are as brief as a few paragraphs. A D/s contract is a lot like a pre-nuptial agreement.

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He Wants to Add His Once Secret Submissive to Our Relationship?

I recently found out that my husband of many years had been having a BDSM relationship outside of our marriage, secretly. Now, he wants to involve me with his sub, as a triad.

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Are Dominants Supposed to Act This Way?

Kayla helps a troubled submissive in an abusive relationship.

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Some Issues with Consensuality

As in most things, the meaning of consent is far from simple.

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To Be or Not To Be - Poly, Mono, Mono-Poly Flexible

Blyss helps you decide if either monogamy or polyamory is a better fit. She covers jealousy, compersion, personal insecurities and understandings of poly.

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BDSM How To: Wax Play

A fantastic little how to get started with Wax Play! Important points include candle temperature and what you need to get going with your own scene.

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Answered: Your Burning Questions About What Is Expected Of You As a Submissive

I'm going to guide you to the answers, but you'll still have to do your own work as far as finding the answers that will work for you.

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