For a novice submissive exploring SM, a checklist can open up a world of fantasies or scare you right back into your light kink and rough sex. Checklists are not meant to scare you or overwhelm you, but I've seen lists that are more like lists of all sorts of rare fetishes and extreme play that only a few ever explore. Why you would want or need that on a novice checklist is beyond me.
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If you’re new, you may have never heard of munches. They are basically gatherings of kinky folk that get together to share food and friendship in a casual atmosphere. But how do you find one? What are they like? Will you be stared at? Let’s answer the questions and dispel the worry and encourage you to head out into the world to your local BDSM community.
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As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?
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One of the tools that Dominants can use for communication is journaling. But you don’t have to be in a relationship to keep a journal. How do you start one? What goes in it? Dive into the 30 Days of Submissive Journaling series or one of the many other articles about this very useful tool in a submissive’s kit.
Read The Series | Find SimilarLimits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.
Read The Series | Find SimilarA checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don't know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don't have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.
Watch The Video | Find SimilarA Dominant has limits just like submissives do. There are things that don’t interest them, or that they have a moral or ethical standing that will prevent them from exploring something. Over the years I have heard many times that Dominants should have a checklist also and I agree.
Read The Article | Find SimilarThe checklist is a great tool to track the progression of your submission. Have you revisited your checklist lately?
Read The Article | Find SimilarWe are the sum of our experiences, after all, and if I hadn't learned these lessons I don’t think I’d be where I am today.
Read The Article | Find SimilarLearning what you might like or dislike is a challenge, but not one you can’t face with the right tools. In this article, I’m going to cover what types of limits there are and then three ways you can begin to figure out what your own limits are no matter how new you are to BDSM.
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