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Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

It is a scary proposition to approach your partner who may be oblivious to your new desires about wanting to add a bit or a lot of kink to your relationship. Whatever they decide it’s up to you on how you proceed. If they want to give it a try – go ahead! If they are far from interested you still have avenues available to you. It doesn’t automatically mean the end of the relationship.

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Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. Topping from the bottom is when you simultaneously adopt both roles. This could be in the form of giving commands, refusing requests or moving to control the location of impacts during play. Generally, it is frowned upon to try to force the Dominant’s hand to do something they do not wish to do.

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Collars and Collaring

A collar symbolizes your commitment and quite often your love and devotion to the Dominant. A collar for submissives is one of the most fundamental symbols of their relationship and one that is usually guarded and protected with their heart.There are no right or wrong ways to be collared. They can be formal or informal. They can be private or in front of a group of your friends and “family”. For those of you who wish to plan a more formal celebration, there are many things to consider.

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Limits

Limits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.

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Mentors

Applying mentoring to a BDSM context a mentor is someone that guides and advises a newbie on what to expect, things they might want learn and other items. I believe a mentor should be on the same level as you. There are many opinions out there, but common sense advice can be found in the following series of articles about mentors.

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Submissive Positions

Submissive Positions are talked about all over like everyone is supposed to be doing them or something. Not every relationship is set up to provide that level of protocol and you should never expect a relationship to automatically have that. If you are interested in positions, ask your partner or prospective partner if they’d be interested before you go learning any. They may have preferences to how you should look and act. Following them is by far more important than learning about positions online (unless that is their direction).

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Service Submission

Service. It’s something that a lot of submissive say they are into giving. While it’s quite clear that the definition means that we are helping or doing work for someone, performing a kindness or favor, when we apply that term to D/s it tends to take on a more indepth role. Let’s explore some of the ways service submission exists in D/s relationships.

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Dirty Talk

When someone says “Talk dirty to me baby…” in the bedroom the hopefully-soon-to-be dirty talker instantly freezes like a soaking wet roll of toilet paper being thrown out of an igloo in Antarctica.What should you say? What do they want you to say? What if you say too much? What if you say too little?

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Submissive Mindset

The submissive mindset is the inner joy that manifests in many ways for each person. When someone says they have to be in the submissive mindset it means they have to feel a connection with what they are doing and the bliss of service and submission. But for many it’s hard to maintain or achieve in the first place! Let’s dive into the sticky details.

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Simply Service e-Zine

One of the hidden jewels on this site is an e-Zine that ran on Yahoo Groups back when I first started exploring submission. It has since stopped production but the articles it contained are still valuable and worth a read so I thought I ‘d bring them back to the forefront. They’ve been archived here with the editor’s permission since the site was first created but I don’t think many of you know just how wonderful they are. I encourage you to check them out!

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