This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community.
When discussing potential dating partners or relationships it is often a common question to ask if there are any red flags about the person that you feel or have noticed. Sure, we can say red flags, but do you know what your red flags are?
Red flags are warning signs that a potential partner may not be a safe person for you to play with. What is a red flag for one person, may not be a red flag for someone else; to a certain degree what constitutes a red flag can be somewhat personal (Shadowborne, 1999).
Your list of red flags may be different than others. What you feel isn’t right could be someone else’s normal. So, as you talk to potential Dominants and play partners make sure to listen to your gut and how you feel about their responses, behaviors and actions.
If a red flag comes up, make sure that you go no further in the relationship or discussion until the red flag is resolved.