tina-poLD was inspired by the month long series of Domestic Service on Submissive Guide and has shared her own personal thoughts on the subject. Would you like to chime in? Leave a comment and let us know your own opinion!

Domestic service encompasses many aspects of caring for a home and those who live there. I personally struggle with those tasks such as cooking, sewing, and housework over all. I wish to share some of my thoughts on my struggle with housework. I have been reading these articles on domestic service with interest. At 47 years old I still struggle with the mundane tasks of keeping a home. I do not like to cook, clean or sew. There is always something else to occupy my time, better things to do.

I could blame Mom for not teaching me to keep house, for not setting the example, for not teaching me to value domestic skills but those are only excuses. I have long been an adult, it is for me to choose to value domestic skills, to keep my home company ready. If I want guests to my home to feel conferrable and relaxed I need to always be prepared for guests. More importantly, my home needs to be clean & conferrable for my Lord and myself, a haven where we can relax and enjoy each other, our escape from the world. Our home should be a positive environment, a reflection of us.

A clean home and relaxed atmosphere have many benefits including improving mental, emotional and physical health. Chaos is unsettling and can lead to at the least a feeling of unrest, increased stress or even depression, affecting our physical health by lowering our immunity, affecting our digestion, increasing the risk for heart attack and leading to ulcers for example.

I am a packrat. I hold on to things. I often use the excuse but I may someday have a use for what I am holding on to but I know it is only an excuse. Holding on to things in case I might have a use for doesn’t make sense because it just increases clutter and if I find I do need something I can go get what I need. It isn’t just things I hold on to I cling to my past knowing like the clutter it only drags me down, holds me back, making moving forward more difficult. For years I have thought if I could clear the clutter of my home I could clear the clutter of my mind but I think it works the other way around.

To let go of my past , to heal old deeply hidden wounds I need to pull them out to the light, examine them, keep the good aspects, the lessons learned and let the past go just as when I clean and sort the clutter I examine it to decide what has value and what is not important to me. Can I use it, do I really need it, if I do find a need can I get another? Such questions apply equally to the clutter I have collected as a pack rat and to the mental and emotional clutter.

Being new to a D/s relationship I am learning to take care of myself because He values me, what is His needs to be well cared, for not to say I have not valued myself but I have always put others first. With His guidance, I am seeing myself in a different light. I am coming to understand to be able to serve Him I must take care of myself. One aspect of taking care of myself is to learn to let go of my past so I can be free to move on, to heal myself and let old wounds go so I may offer myself fully to serve Him, to embark on this new chapter of my life, my life serving Him, with a fresh page. Towards this goal, I have started my journey to clear the clutter in my life. Domestic service is not a chore to dread but a journey of self-discovery. The adventure begins now.


I am tina-poLD, a new comer to both Submissive Guide and the BDSM lifestyle. This is my first submission to Submissive Guide. luna’s series on Domestic Service has inspired me and I wanted to share my thoughts. My email is KL26275@yahoo.com