Doms keep telling us that they’re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it’s hard! Especially when it’s something they might not want to hear.
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As submissives, we are expected to express a modicum of restraint, most often in regards to our words and actions. Frequently, we do this to align ourselves with the expectations of the dominants who care for us. I propose that while it is admirable to used restraint and moderation in our words and actions, it is even more important to exercise moderation in our thoughts and feelings.
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If you have ever tried to explain what we do to someone that doesn't have any familiarity you will probably use these very standards to stand up to your descriptions. An alternative, but one that is even hard for some BDSM practitioners to embrace is called RACK. It stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. The only thing that the two safety standards have in common is the consensuality of it.
Read The Article | Find SimilarIn this video series, I define terms that readers have asked me about! This one is the comparison of funishment and punishment. Do you have a term you'd like defined? Let me know.
Watch The Video | Find SimilarHaving kids can be a challenge in this lifestyle but I do recommend being honest with them at some point in their life. They deserve to come to this knowledge just as much as other things in this life. What they choose to do with said knowledge should be up to them.
Read The Article | Find SimilarIt's funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for "chemistry" as well. They want to fall in love with the Dominant of their dreams. Apparently, these submissives have come into the lifestyle thinking that a Dominant is BDSMs version of Prince Charming. Ladies, He simply doesn't exist either in the Vanilla world or in the lifestyle. Most Doms I know have regular lives to live and when their backside itches they scratch it. They fart when they eat beans and burp when they drink a beer. They wake up with bags under their eyes and a 5 o'clock shadow just exactly like their vanilla counterparts. But here we are hoping like crazy that he will forever and ever look like a hottie in leathers while always having a desire to flog our submissive little behinds.
Read The Article | Find SimilarFantasies are great lived and relived in our minds but there comes a time when our desire to experience what we've read is strong. Make sure you have all the facts and place yourself firmly in reality before you try to explore them. It will mean a safer more enjoyable time for you and your partner.
Read The Article | Find SimilarSome of the best online reading on the topic. Browse the list, watch the videos and learn more about pain play.
Read The Article | Find SimilarEveryone’s safety is extremely important of course, but in the BDSM community, it is the people who give themselves up the most that have a greater chance of being hurt; submissives.
Read The Article | Find SimilarThe topic of love in regards to Lifestyle relationships is usually a pretty hot topic. Everyone has an opinion, thought, rule, or feeling about it.
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