Welcome to a mini-series here on the channel that I'm going to call Define This! In this series you are welcome to ask me to define terms found in the BDSM and D/s lexicon that you don't know and I will make a brief video defining it for you. Sounds simple enough, right?  I want to post as many of these videos as possible so don't be shy asking me about terms you've come across.

Today I'm talking about the difference between punishment and funishment. It's common to get these mixed up, especially in online forums, so let's get them settled right here.


Punishment is chastisement for misbehavior. If you are in a dynamic that includes discipline you might have a punishment dynamic as well. This would mean that there are defined consequences for breaking rules and slipping in your Dominant's expectations. Punishment for your behavior can vary widely and can include physical punishment like spanking or it can be a removal of privileges, and even a mixture of the two. Punishment in this situation is never meant to be fun or pleasurable for either party.

Not all relationships have a punishment dynamic to them and those that do, know that punishment is no laughing matter. But that doesn't stop others that don't know the difference from mixing it up with funishment.


Funishment is when a submissive does something to intentionally get the Dominant to play punish them. A scenario would be something like this, a submissive is teasing her Dominant. He tells her to stop. She says, "oh, so if I don't stop, what will you do? (wink wink) Will you punish me?" "Yes, I'll spank that tart bottom until it's all red, that's what I'll do." "Then I'm never going to stop! (giggles)" Essentially in this situation the sub wants to play and instead of just coming out to ask for it, like I teach on the site, they try to instigate the Dominant's ire in order to get what they want. Be careful though because if the Dominant isn't the funishment type, then this could earn the submissive a case of real punishment that they weren't looking for!

Another way that the term punishment gets misused is to describe impact play. Often misused online, a person might come into a forum and ask how to punish their submissive with a certain implement and have no reason other than mutual pleasure to do so. Again, punishment is not meant for fun.

Once you understand the difference then less confusion will result.

Do you have a term you'd like defined? Leave a comment!