What Do Female Dominants Desire in a Male Submissive?

Do dominant women like this, that or the other thing? Unfortunately, there is no one set of ideal submissive traits that can be emulated. Indeed, if you ask these questions of twenty different Dominas, you’ll get at least twenty different answers. Each Dominant has her own idea of what makes a perfect submissive or slave. Some like youth and physical fitness, others like maturity and experience, tall or short, eloquent or not-so-much, pain slut or light-weight, sissy or not, emotive or the strong/silent type… well, as you can imagine, that list goes on and on. The problem, as I see it, is that too many (prospective) submissives get bogged down in trivial matters when they should be focusing on simple truth and sincerity.

Without His Collar: How This Happened and What I’m Learning About Myself

My submission stopped being something I did for me. It all began to become what he wanted and how he wanted it. My life stopped being mine and more and more a shadow of his. I want to be submissive. I want to be KnyghtMare’s submissive. Only time will tell.

Feeling Like a Failure - The Crash and Burn of a Slave: A Personal Story

My life was spiraling out of control. It’s been over 18 months and I’m still not back to the sense of joy in my submission I used to have. I’m getting there but I feel like a failure. It has come back pretty strongly and I’m relearning who I am and who I want to be this time around.

RACK(Risk Aware Concensual Kink): A Realistic Alternative to SSC

If you have ever tried to explain what we do to someone that doesn't have any familiarity you will probably use these very standards to stand up to your descriptions. An alternative, but one that is even hard for some BDSM practitioners to embrace is called RACK. It stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. The only thing that the two safety standards have in common is the consensuality of it.

Caring for Yourself After a Scene: Self-Aftercare

All too often it becomes a necessity to take care of yourself after a play session because your top was just visiting or the play party is over. Even after a few days you may need to carry out some aftercare. Knowing what to do can prevent physical and emotional struggles.

Setting Realistic Goals to Realize Your Dreams

Every goal we want to set requires three things to have a chance at working. We need the right time in our lives, planning and follow through. Lack just one of these things and we will not reach those dreams of ours.

So, you may be wondering why I'm covering this topic on a submissive newsletter. Every day I set goals for myself; be more obedient, remember to reply to requests and commands appropriately, research a certain topic to better understand it, practice my stretching so that I can be more flexible, etc. All of these things are to improve my submission. Hopefully you are setting small goals for yourself too. At the end of this essay, I'd like to challenge you to set a few goals for yourself and your submission. Let's see some wonderful changes in you!

Why A Punishment Dynamic May be Just What You Need

Thinking about your current situation and how you manage your life right now, do you think you would benefit from a punishment dynamic?

Fifty Shades of Grey, Consent and the Media's Representation of Kink

Unfortunately, the 50 Shades of Grey series is the litmus test that the mainstream media will now use to judge what those of us in the community consider to be a huge part of who we are.

When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship

I am going to tell you, on no uncertain terms that if your dominant is hurting you out of anger this is abusive.