When Fantasy Collides with Reality: Weighing Expectations when Exploring Kink Fantasies

Unrealistic expectations and desires are some of the most difficult challenges faced by those who are experienced in the lifestyle when dealing with those just entering the lifestyle. In many ways we each buy into a particular ‘aspect’ of the fantasy. Yet over and over people try to implement the impossible.

The False Comfort of Labels on Our Personal Identity in Kink

We allow ourselves to become trapped within the created labels of others we are essentially accepting an external level of control or entrapment. Becoming comfortable and accepting of yourself is when you will find your personal strength and internal peace.

If I feel Jealousy can I still be Poly?

Almost all of us have felt jealousy at one time or another. The best thing anyone has ever said to me in my understanding of jealousy was that “jealousy is just another emotion”. Why should we treat jealousy any different than any other negative emotion?

Setting Realistic Goals to Realize Your Dreams

Every goal we want to set requires three things to have a chance at working. We need the right time in our lives, planning and follow through. Lack just one of these things and we will not reach those dreams of ours.

So, you may be wondering why I'm covering this topic on a submissive newsletter. Every day I set goals for myself; be more obedient, remember to reply to requests and commands appropriately, research a certain topic to better understand it, practice my stretching so that I can be more flexible, etc. All of these things are to improve my submission. Hopefully you are setting small goals for yourself too. At the end of this essay, I'd like to challenge you to set a few goals for yourself and your submission. Let's see some wonderful changes in you!

30 Days of Submission Challenge: Day 1 – Labeling My Submission

Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label?

Submissive Advent - Day 1: In Wait

This month, that something special will hopefully be a new personal realization in yourself and your submissive nature. Take a moment today and select 2 lines from the sonnet above that touches you and your current position in life. Write it out on a note card or piece of paper and tape it to your bathroom mirror or computer monitor. Use it as a reflective mantra this month.

Me vs the German Language - A Lesson in Patience

More times than I care to count, I find myself in the train of thought that I shouldn’t even bother because I’m never going to understand the language, so why keep torturing myself? But then, on the other hand, I get so frustrated because I can’t really communicate while out in public. This is when having a bit of patience comes into play.

Learning Better Pain Processing Through Visualization

As a masochist I enjoy pain for the sake of pain. I don’t always want to escape from it; rarely do I enjoy sub space because it separates me from the pain. I want to feel it, embrace it and hold it close. I've learned a few important skills that push those pain boundaries and bring me further into a sadist’s grasp. The most valuable of those skills is visualization.

Stop Comparing Yourself With Others - My Submission Isn't Better Than Yours

I know being competitive is a part of human nature, but the constant comparison of yourself to others doesn’t do anyone, especially you any good.