This past year has just been a whirlwind of excitement for me. Moving to a new country to be with my Daddy and everything that comes with moving to a new country, adjusting to a new culture, a new way of life, and a new language. The biggest challenge of my move has been the language barrier.
While in the process of learning a new language, there are a lot of challenges. One isn’t going to pick up a new language overnight, or even in six months. It’s been extremely frustrating for me because of the struggle. There have even been times where I’ve questioned my own intelligence level because I know I’m smart, but since I’ve been having so much trouble with learning German, I figured since I’m not fluent already, that I’m not as smart as I thought. I practice my German every day, but in the beginning, and even now from time to time, I don’t get as much out of it as I should because I would become frustrated with myself before I would even start. More times than I care to count, I find myself in the train of thought that I shouldn’t even bother because I’m never going to understand the language, so why keep torturing myself? But then, on the other hand, I get so frustrated because I can’t really communicate while out in public. This is when having a bit of patience comes into play.
The only issue with this is that I really don’t have much patience. I never have. Even as a toddler, my godfather gave me the nickname of “Patience” and whenever he saw me becoming impatient, that’s when I would hear my nickname and in return, I would give him the dirtiest look I could muster and growl. There was nothing anyone in my family could do to teach me patience, they would just hope that as I grew older, I would learn to have some.
I have to admit, that since moving, this is really the first time where patience has been an extremely important factor in my submission, not that I’ve always exercised patience.
At the time I moved to Germany, Daddy wasn’t working yet which meant He was always around. We did everything together, which I absolutely loved. It was such a great thing to have Him around all the time to be able to game together, watch movies, go for walks, shopping, and everything else. Then, Daddy started working. Yes, we both knew for Him to be able to support us, He needed to work. This meant I started being on my own, a lot. It was a huge adjustment for me being in a relatively new place on my own for long periods of time. Not only that, but my time with Daddy became extremely limited. This is where patience has started coming into play for me. I knew Daddy was extremely tired after coming home from work and needed to unwind. While Daddy wasn’t working, I was being scened with at least once, if not twice a week, but that’s changed and a change neither one us of like. A lot of our lifestyle activities have been extremely limited, because well, everyday life is happening. With life happening, makes things difficult and sometimes hard to deal with. This is where having patience has played a big role in my submission. I do get frustrated from time to time because there’s so much more I would like, but can’t get it when I want it. I can always throw a temper tantrum and constantly whine to Daddy about how I don’t approve of how things are, but I know behaving like that isn’t going to get me what I want, just a whole lot of things I don’t want. I have learned to deal with things in a better way than exploding such as going for walks or getting out my crayons and coloring books. It’s definitely easier for me to have patience with Daddy, because I know He has patience with me.
This is something important, is to have an Owner who's able to be patient with a new slave or submissive, and even one that they’ve had for years. Things happen in life that will drag our attention away from our Owners, there’s no way around that. Work, school, family, friends, sickness, and probably about a billion other things that I can’t think of right now. Not only that, but it takes time for a new slave or submissive to get into the routine that’s been set for them as well as to learn how the Owner wants things done. Daddy has been, more patient with me than I feel I really deserve. Over the past year there have been so many meltdowns over being homesick and frustrations with the language barrier and the immigrations office(three-hour waits to get a piece of paper signed is enough to make anyone go insane!). Every time one of these meltdowns has happened, He’s been there. He’s let me go off on my tangent, mutter whatever obscenities I need to spew and is there to hold me when I calm down and hold my hand through everything. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how this transition would be for me if Daddy wasn’t so patient.
I never in my life thought I would realize how important patience really is. As I have grown, I have realized that having patience is a sign of having inner peace. There’s no way being impatient and having inner peace can co-exist. Something I have learned over my years in the lifestyle is that it’s a good thing to have inner peace as a slave. I feel that in a lifestyle based relationship, that having patience is extremely important because the relationship would be extremely difficult to have if patience isn’t being exercised from both sides.