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Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

It is a scary proposition to approach your partner who may be oblivious to your new desires about wanting to add a bit or a lot of kink to your relationship. Whatever they decide it’s up to you on how you proceed. If they want to give it a try – go ahead! If they are far from interested you still have avenues available to you. It doesn’t automatically mean the end of the relationship.

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Mentors

Applying mentoring to a BDSM context a mentor is someone that guides and advises a newbie on what to expect, things they might want learn and other items. I believe a mentor should be on the same level as you. There are many opinions out there, but common sense advice can be found in the following series of articles about mentors.

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Subspace

Exploring submission play can involve intense sensation. Subspace is a mental and physical response to the high levels of endorphins produced during play. Described as similar to a runner’s high this is a good feeling and one to be enjoyed if you ever get there.

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Setting Goals

No matter how you go about it, setting realistic goals and then working towards success is a step by step process. You have the tools available to make changes in your life if you want them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Treat them like anything else in your life worth doing and you can make it. Use the resources below to make the progress stick.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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BDSM Checklists

If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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BDSM Myths

The world is full of false truths. These false truths tend to be the assumptions of the uninformed or the beliefs of those who want to scare novices out of their wits. Many of these are because of a narrow view of the world or an inability to accept varying viewpoints. In this series, you’ll find some of the most popular BDSM myths that novices hear and what the truth really is.

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Dirty Talk

When someone says “Talk dirty to me baby…” in the bedroom the hopefully-soon-to-be dirty talker instantly freezes like a soaking wet roll of toilet paper being thrown out of an igloo in Antarctica.What should you say? What do they want you to say? What if you say too much? What if you say too little?

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Start Here: New to BDSM Pack

So, you’ve discovered this great big world of BDSM and you just don’t know what to do now. Welcome! I suggest you start here in learning some of the vocabulary you’ll find around the internet and I want to help you get your head around all the things you’ll encounter, just a bit at a time.

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Munches

If you’re new, you may have never heard of munches. They are basically gatherings of kinky folk that get together to share food and friendship in a casual atmosphere. But how do you find one? What are they like? Will you be stared at? Let’s answer the questions and dispel the worry and encourage you to head out into the world to your local BDSM community.

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