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Feeling Submissive Again After a Break - How I Am Reclaiming Myself

It’s a scary thing to know your submissive flame is gone and then to work hard to bring it back out without someone to submit to. I know that if I lost my way and can find someway to come back, that you can to. Give my advice some thought and try to formulate your own ideas for how you too can rebuild your submissive flame, nourish your spirit and return to some sense of normalcy in yourself.

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Financial Control in D/s Relationships

There are many different aspects to financial domination, maybe as many as there are D/s relationships. There is a chance that at some point the issue of financial domination will come up between you and your Dominant. If and when this happens, here is some practical advice.

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Improving Your Submission - Your Support System

A lot of the goals we set for ourselves can be reached without outside support, but others work so much better when we have people cheering us on, keeping us accountable and just being there when frustration comes up. Establishing a support system is in your best interest.

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Don't Embarrass Yourself: Learn the Etiquette for Play Parties Before You Go

Each social situation we expose ourselves to has it's own set of rules and behaviors. This is also true of BDSM events, perhaps even moreso. A play party will have different rules at each location you may attend one. There will be established rules as well as house/location rules. There are also unspoken rules that many relationships have in place. Let's cover some of each category.

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What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community

FetLife, for as long as it remains a free community will always be the place I recommend novices go to lurk in the groups and feed off of information that they get there. It is the largest no-nonesense group of people I've seen. FetLife has changed the community atmosphere. It really has. Better or worse is personal opinion, but I know that for me it has a lot going for it. As it ages I think it will get more refined with the quality instead of just quantity. I'll be there to see it age. Hopefully you will join me there.

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The Popularity of BDSM

If your only view of BDSM is the online community then you could believe that BDSM and being kinky is a huge playground and that a lot of people participate in it openly. And you’d be wrong. While a a good portion of the US population admits they are kinky (10% according to NCSF) most of those are not going to participate in a BDSM community or step further than silk blindfolds and light bondage.

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Let’s Party! Finding Local Play Parties

Parties are a ‘rite of passage’ for some in the BDSM community. How do you find one? What can you expect? And most importantly (for me) what on earth can you wear?

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Your Kink is Not My Kink and That's Okay

Just because your kinks are things I'm not remotely interested in doesn't mean we can't stand on common ground. It's okay to be different and yet be friends. People do it all the time.

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How to Use FetLife to Broaden Your BDSM Learning

I'd like to walk you through the ways that I use to find information and continue my learning with FetLife.

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Rule #1 - Don't Touch Anything Without Permission

You'll meet white collar, blue collar and poverty stricken people in the same room enjoying conversation with each other. But a select few people haven't learned about spatial boundaries or that the number one rule in groups across the country and perhaps the world is that you don't touch anyone or anything without permission.

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