Welcome back to another post in the video series about improving your submission through setting goals and achieving personal milestones.  We've covered how to make goals and if you've followed along you should be well on your way with your goals. How have your personal accountability meetings gone? Have you learned from your setbacks?

In this post I want to talk about your support system. A lot of the goals we set for ourselves can be reached without outside support, but others work so much better when we have people cheering us on, keeping us accountable and just being there when frustration comes up. Establishing a support system is in your best interest.

But how do you do that when some of the things you want to improve are submission-specific? You don't want to tell your friends that you are working on your kneeling so you can do it longer, right? Well there are tricks you can employ if you don't have kink-based friends and I'll help you out with those ideas, in this post too.

But first things first; your kink-related support system.

Your Partner

After yourself, your partner is you best source of support, especially if the improvements you want to make will make your submission more unique, special and personal to the two of you. It always feels good to have a cheerleader that can keep you motivated and sees even the small progress as success. If you can talk to your partner about being your accountability partner, and what that will mean to you, then you are on your way to positive results. For those of us that don't have partners yet, you have other choices though, so don't despair.

Your Kink Friends

The friends you have that are in the know about your chosen lifestyle are a great choice for support. Friends are always there with unbiased opinions and a clear vision for you and your positive change. Becoming active in the local community will help you build your friend base and once you have friends you can rely on it makes a lot of things easier.  Some of them may have already reached a similar goal and can help you get there through mentoring, advice and a more personal approach.

The Community

The BDSM community often has a main focus of education, teaching safe practices and supporting the people in the community. If any of your goals are to be more active in the community, overcome your shyness or get some experience in a specific activity then get to a munch group. The leaders of these groups can help you find the assistance you are looking for and will often know or can point you in the direction of safe players, more information, books and other resources as well as regional or national events that might bring you closer to your goals. And you could find a friend or two as well!

Vanilla Support

Now, on to the vanilla friends and family; how you can use them to help you with your goals. That's right, they can help you too if you let them. Of course they are probably not the first choice for goals that would be related to sex or BDSM or overt submissive behaviors, but if your goals are more neutral like getting more exercise, setting a regular sleep schedule, learning and keeping a budget and more they can help you improve yourself without knowing it's true purpose is to make you a better submissive person.


Don't discount yourself either. If you can't find ways to stay motivated and keep on track then the largest support group in the world isn't going to be able to help you reach your goals. So, keep that accountability journal and make those meetings with yourself that we've talked about before. Earn those rewards and learn from your slips. It's going to take time but what do you have but time. Use it well and you can reach you goals over and over again.

How else can you find support to reach your goals and improve your submission? Let me know in the comments!