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How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

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Playing Well with Others

This book by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams is the quintessential guide for novices and seasoned players ready to enter the BDSM community. No other book like this exists so it's a great addition to your personal kink library.

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Should There Be Clear Definitions to Label Yourself In This Lifestyle?

So should there be a solid set of definitions that people can choose from? Other than the dictionary definitions that is; something lifestyle related that we can point to and say if you fit into a, b and c you are submissive, but if you feel more like d, e and f you are slave. If we had to come up with specific definitions what would be in your list for each label?

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What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community

FetLife, for as long as it remains a free community will always be the place I recommend novices go to lurk in the groups and feed off of information that they get there. It is the largest no-nonesense group of people I've seen. FetLife has changed the community atmosphere. It really has. Better or worse is personal opinion, but I know that for me it has a lot going for it. As it ages I think it will get more refined with the quality instead of just quantity. I'll be there to see it age. Hopefully you will join me there.

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Your Right to Choose-Feminism and the Lifestyle

I know that being a feminist means different things to different people. To me, feminism has always been about having the right to choose to lead the kind of life that I want to.

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Who Influences Your Submission?

When I find that I’m paying more attention to what society is trying to tell me and people who don’t know or understand me, then I’m not paying attention to Daddy or my heart. That’s when I lose sight of what’s really important.

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You Don't Have to Be a Porn Star or Fashion Model to Participate in BDSM

You've seen the porn on Kink.com and other places and you notice that most of the pictures on FetLife are of fit, healthy people dressed in latex and leather from head to toe. You can't possibly fit into the BDSM world. Wrong.

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It's Okay to be New - Exploring and Learning as a Novice Submissive

When you visit this site, I don't expect you to have all the information you need to make educated responses, or to know what to do first, second and next. It's a process.

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The Top 5 Tips for Vetting a Potential Dominant Partner

It's never easy being single and knowing you want to find a Dominant partner adds to the mix of things to look for in a partner that often narrows the pool. But with these 5 tips on selecting Dominants, you'll have a better understanding and hopefully renewed inspiration for your own dating endeavors.

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Altered Mental States

The human mind is vulnerable to suggestion. Within the BDSM community, there is a strong underlying foundation for voluntarily focused enthrallment.

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