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Content related to "What Should I Try Next: Like Spanking? Try Flogging"

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BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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Mentors

Applying mentoring to a BDSM context a mentor is someone that guides and advises a newbie on what to expect, things they might want learn and other items. I believe a mentor should be on the same level as you. There are many opinions out there, but common sense advice can be found in the following series of articles about mentors.

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Setting Goals

No matter how you go about it, setting realistic goals and then working towards success is a step by step process. You have the tools available to make changes in your life if you want them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Treat them like anything else in your life worth doing and you can make it. Use the resources below to make the progress stick.

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The Loving Dominant

While I do plan to keep my copy of The Loving Dominant, I would have liked to have seen more attention paid to the “how” and “what” of expressing dominance in a loving way and avoiding that slippery slope into selfishness and abuse.

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How to Use Playtime Check Ins Wisely

Whether you are playing with your partner or someone new, learning how to give good information during a check in is vital to your enjoyment and comfort. I am going to explain what a check in might look or sound like and what information to provide that will be best received and used.

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Processing Pain in Play: Positive Pain Management Techniques

Part of your receiving is also an exchange for the top. They want to watch you process that pain in open and positive ways so that they can get energy from it. I guess you could call a good sadist as an energy vampire along those lines.

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In Readiness - Scene Care and Aftercare

Whether you are preparing for a scene or well into aftercare it's always handy to have tools and resources at hand that can help you through all the stages of the play time many of us adore. I've gathered a list of the articles and essays on this site that are related to scene care and aftercare into one list.

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After the Scene is Over - Clean-up, Aftercare, and Check-Ins

Submissive Guide has a lot of resources on clean up, aftercare and check-ins that get lost in the archives. I've pulled together what I have here, as well as all over the web to make this a comprehensive post for all things "after the scene". Bookmark it, share it, use it.

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Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships

We all know from experience that effective communication is hard enough when you’re occupying the same physical space as another person, but when you’re across the state, the country, the world, from your loved one, complications can increase tenfold. Luckily for those of us who are in long distance relationships, this is no longer the 1920s and there are hundreds of nearly-free ways to communicate over vast distances.

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How Can You Reduce the Appearance of Marks and Bruises After Play?

I work in a very conservative environment, so we try to keep marks to places that can easily be covered. That doesn’t always work and it limits our play field greatly in the warmer months because I live in a hellishly humid place in summer. Any suggestions?

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