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The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene

Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.

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3 Reasons a "Perpetual Student" Mindset Is Vital to Kink

Keeping the mindset of a "perpetual student" ensures we are open to the gifts education has to offer to our community and us. Here's why maintaining a "perpetual student" outlook is so important to kink, both in our personal lives and in the community.

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Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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Submissive Positions

Submissive Positions are talked about all over like everyone is supposed to be doing them or something. Not every relationship is set up to provide that level of protocol and you should never expect a relationship to automatically have that. If you are interested in positions, ask your partner or prospective partner if they’d be interested before you go learning any. They may have preferences to how you should look and act. Following them is by far more important than learning about positions online (unless that is their direction).

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Tearing Down the Green-Eyed Monster - Handling Jealousy

Most confuse jealousy and envy. I know I've been bitten a few times by jealousy but thankfully I worked through them and realized that there was nothing to worry about. I've conquered jealousy and you can too. Today we'll talk about what jealousy is, compare it to envy and then figure out some tips on combating jealousy.

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Slut Is Such a Dirty Word and I Love It! - Types of Humiliation and Degradation Play

Humiliation and especially erotic humiliation is the intentional use of words and actions to cause embarrassment, shame or psychological discomfort.

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Consent is Key: SSC and RACK

We will take SSC apart and make consensuality the core for all interactions for it is the most valuable part of a D/s exchange.

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What Does a Dom Mean When He Says, "You Need Training"

When a Dominant tells you that you need training, what does he really mean?

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Perspectives: Canes

Canes are a scary tool in expert hands and dangerous tools in the inexperienced person's hand. But it doesn't have to be about pain, although it turned out that way for me.

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Finding a Compatible Partner in the Lifestyle

Yes, it is hard to find that special partner who will give you what you want and compliment you in every aspect. However, think back to when you were dating in the vanilla realm. Was it just as hard? Some of you will say no, some will say yes. Those of you that say no, why is that you think?

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