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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Improving Your Submission - Your Support System

A lot of the goals we set for ourselves can be reached without outside support, but others work so much better when we have people cheering us on, keeping us accountable and just being there when frustration comes up. Establishing a support system is in your best interest.

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What NOT to Share on Your Online Profile

We all have one somewhere. FetLife being all the rage right now, but also we have alt.com, collarme.com, bondage.com, and others where we place ads and identity profiles up to get people interested. This interest can be friends or relationship related; it doesn't matter. What does matter is what we broadcast to everyone that happens across our profiles? You need to keep some things secure and really consider what's necessary to put out into the World Wide Web.

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What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community

FetLife, for as long as it remains a free community will always be the place I recommend novices go to lurk in the groups and feed off of information that they get there. It is the largest no-nonesense group of people I've seen. FetLife has changed the community atmosphere. It really has. Better or worse is personal opinion, but I know that for me it has a lot going for it. As it ages I think it will get more refined with the quality instead of just quantity. I'll be there to see it age. Hopefully you will join me there.

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The Popularity of BDSM

If your only view of BDSM is the online community then you could believe that BDSM and being kinky is a huge playground and that a lot of people participate in it openly. And you’d be wrong. While a a good portion of the US population admits they are kinky (10% according to NCSF) most of those are not going to participate in a BDSM community or step further than silk blindfolds and light bondage.

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Discretion in the BDSM Community - Anonymity and Personal Privacy Concerns

How safe are BDSM groups for people in high profile careers and the risk of being exposed? It's a valid concern for anyone that seeks outside support and knowledge so I thought I'd share with you what I had to say to this person.

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Male Submission – The Worm

One common archetype of submissive men is the worm, a man who wants to be humiliated, degraded, and tormented as much as possible by most any and every dominant woman he encounters. Depending upon the male sub’s orientation, he may want to be treated this way by only dominant women, only dominant men, or regardless of gender.

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What Should I Try Next: Like Service-based Play? Try Serving Others

If it pleases you like it pleases me to serve your Partner, consider adding service based play that involves other consenting parties. Adding things like hosting parties, formal tea parties or D/s dinners can make you feel good about offering your service.

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Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol (Part 4 of 7) - Play Parties

In part 4 of Ambrosio's series on Protocol and Etiquette, it's play parties! Come read a set of sample party rules and three different types of parties you may encounter in your local BDSM community.

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Write an Online BDSM Dating Profile That Gets Results!

I'll help you figure out what to have on your profile to help you get the attention you want and how to handle the attention you don't want.

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