This is a six part series all about experiencing play from the right side of the slash. It is intended to be a helpful guide for you to push yourself further in your play, to experience new things, to open your mind and body to new sensations.

I want to briefly mention safety in the beginning here. Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Whether you are a newbie to all of this or decades deep into your BDSM path, remember to be aware of the risks associated with this type of play, to be sure you are playing with a partner that you can trust, and never hesitate to use an agreed upon safe word if you’d like the play to change or stop.

That said, let us dive into this part of the series:

Like service based play? Try serving others…

Basics of service based play:

 "I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy."-Rabindranath Tagore

I get turned on by serving my partner. Like, it actually makes me hot and bothered to remove his shoes at the end of the day, to place a hot meal in front of him. There are many ways to enjoy a scene based around your enjoyment of service. You can offer service sexually (offer sexual pleasure without any expectation in return), in a domestic sense (cooking, cleaning, etc), or personal service.

The Mister often sends me off to be his personal shopper. He will say, “I need black work shoes, a new brown belt, and a couple of shirts with matching ties.” I will dedicate the entire day to hitting up his favorite shops, pulling out the business card listing his current sizes for everything when I decide on something, picking out things that I know will look wonderful on him. By the time I get home, filled up with the smell of newness and a cinnamon pretzel from the mall, to lay out my choices for when he gets home I am so, so horny.

“Your pleasure is my pleasure, Sir.” I say it often and mean it always.


 Like anything, it all depends on your Partner to make this work well. There is nothing worse than an underappreciation for the services performed.

Why and how to add service based play involving others?

 If it pleases you like it pleases me to serve your Partner, consider adding service based play that involves other consenting parties.

Try hosting a fancy cocktail party with other Lifestyle friends and be the host(ess) with the most(ess).  Formal tea service is a longstanding tradition in BDSM history that is basically a dying art. Research it and get planning. If you are attending a Lifestyle event consider having your Top volunteer you for service. He or she can sit back, watch you being useful, and feel good about offering your service.

If you are open to other sexual or play partners, maybe consider a more intimate sexual service. Have your Dominant’s best friend over and serve lunch, maybe service them under the table as they eat. There are many ways of being “used.” You are only limited by your imagination.

Begging for even more?

 Cannot get enough of service? Consider learning the art of leather care and bootblacking. This is an excellent way for both  partnered or unpartnered s-types to be able to serve others and the community at large. There is... a lot… of leather in this community. If you become skilled in caring for leather, you will be a great part of your service based local scene. Many bootblackers will go into a play party or dungeon and fulfill their service based deires by kneeling down and caring for others. It’s beautiful, and therapeutic, and a gift, truly.

Additional Submissive Guide/Dominant Guide reading on the topics at hand:



Give us some feedback in the comments to continue the discussion! Have you ever tried these types of play? How is your experience similar or different? If somebody is interested in service based play, what else would you suggest they try out? What other play would you like to incorporate?