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Exploring Service Motivations: How a Mocktail Made Me Service-Oriented

It is so meaningful—so personal. It is intimate in a way we don’t ordinarily associate with intimacy. Platonic service can be boldly intimate, in a beautiful and profound way.

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Kink and Mental Health

Being an emotionally healthy person is a goal that all of us have but a smaller margin actually accomplish. With the constant stress of commitments and modern day obligations, our emotions face the brunt of it. The goal of a submissive is to seek that balance in emotional states so that our service appears stress-free and sincere; even if we have a lot going on in the background. Living as an emotionally healthy submissive takes knowing what is considered healthy to begin with.

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Real Service

While the book isn’t very long, it is still full of amazing information and I do highly recommend it to any service-oriented s-type.

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Spanking for Lovers by Janet Hardy

Whether as just a spanko or as part of a power exchange relationship, this is a great book for all parties involved to check out. Janet Hardy knows her stuff and you can tell that her knowledge is from years of experience on both sides of the paddle.

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Honest Communication or Bust

"Full transparency" isn't just something we bat around on BDSM forums. And it's not necessarily something exclusive to the master/slave or owner/property dynamics. It's actually sort of important in any relationship, regardless of dynamic, or lack thereof. It is the key to "making it work". And it's best to start in the beginning.

I didn't start until what was almost the end. I wasted the first six years of our relationship telling him what I thought he wanted to hear. I thought it was my duty. My responsibility as property.

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Kink and Mental Health: The Ethics and Legality of Consent

One thing I've noticed, with regard to BDSM cases in the media, is that regardless whether or not the law allows for consent, it's usually the first question the media asks. Did the submissive consent to whatever gave the police cause to arrest and charge the dominant? Followed by the question of whether or not the submissive revoked said consent by use of safe word or some other agreed upon protocol.

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Failing to Find a Good BDSM Education Online

The multitude of blogs and websites giving poor information has led me to believe that the power of our community is failing in one of its most important tasks – education. Perhaps that isn't exactly so, but the online arena, which has grown exponentially as the key entry point for new people interested in BDSM is lacking in trustworthy and reliable information exchange.

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Are There Basic Expectations in a Dominant That I Should Look For?

Here are some basic things you should probably look for in a Dominant.

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Being a Little Doesn't Come with a Size or Age Limitation

The bottom line is, you’re never too old, too heavy, too tall, or too short to be who you really are.

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Talking to Your Dominant: When A Desire Becomes a Need

Being in a power exchange relationship at the time was more of a want and desire than a need. The more experience I gained, the more it became a need.

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