A couple of weeks on Facebook, Janet Hardy (co-author of several amazing books including The Ethical Slut and The New Bottoming Book), asked for people who are interested in reviewing her new book, Spanking for Lovers and I had a total fangirl moment. I swear, if it had been in person, I would have been bouncing in my seat, with my arm raised, going “ME ME ME!!!!”. Luckily for her, it wasn’t in person and I just had to ask via email. I can’t tell you the excitement I had when I checked my email and saw a copy for me to read and review. I couldn’t help my excitement because Janet Hardy is just full of valuable information and everything I have read by her, is just amazing. Spanking for Lovers is no different from her previous books.
While it’s not a very big book, for individuals who are interested in spanking- the ones being spanked, the ones doing the spanking, or someone who’s just starting to test the waters of the world of spanking, then this is a book you definitely need to have in your library.
Hardy covers topics such as the reasons why people enjoy spankings, the different parts of a scene, types of spanking relationships and several other topics as well as filled with great illustrations that show different positions and diagrams, and fantastic resources as how to find other individuals who are interested in spanking, special notes on caning(a favorite of Hardy’s), and other books and groups to check out.
There is a lot in this book that I liked. For starters, I learned quite a bit. Something she pointed out, and I did already know but had forgotten is that not everyone who is into spanking(whether the top or the bottom)is into BDSM. A lot of people lump spanking and BDSM hand in hand because a lot of people who participate in power exchange relationships, spanking is usually involved, either as a form of play or punishment. While this may be the case for most power exchange relationships, it’s not always the case. There are people who enjoy being spanked and enjoy spanking just for the sake of spanking. She also mentions the place spanking has in domestic discipline relationships, which is something else most people don’t think of either.
She also goes into great detail about the safe places to spank and what kind of implements will leave what kind of marks and other possible physical injuries one could possibly suffer from while being spanked. A lot of people(including myself) think this kind of information is only needed to be known by the person who is doing the spanking, but honestly, this is information that the spankee needs to be aware of as well. Reading about all of this made me think about what is happening to my body and made me a more educated spankee.
Another thing that I love about Spanking for Lovers is the casual, friendly tone that Hardy has set. I’ve read a couple of non-fiction BDSM books where I have felt that the author is talking down to the reader and I don’t like authors who have a tone of “I know better than you”, but you will not find this at all. While I was reading, I felt like I was having a conversation with a long time friend. Also throughout the books, you’ll see arrows that point to side comments explaining certain terms(so if you’re completely new and know nothing, no need to fear because things are explained), quotes from other books about spanking, or little tidbits from the author herself about personal experiences. In my opinion, these little side notes added a lot of personality to the book.
Like I said before, if you’re interested in spanking, whether as just a spanko or as part of a power exchange relationship, this is a great book for all parties involved to check out. Janet Hardy knows her stuff and you can tell that her knowledge is from years of experience on both sides of the paddle.
You can purchase a copy of Spanking for Lovers in paperback on Amazon today.