You have figured out by now if you read my personal blog or the Weekend Reflections here that KnyghtMare and I have recently begun the process of opening our relationship to include froggy. KnyghtMare and froggy are now Dominant and submissive and are taking it on my lead as to sexual contact. It’s not easy for me to release that possessiveness I feel but I know it will happen.
When I was trying to decide on a book to review for Submissive Guide I thought it would be opportune moment for me to read the most recognized book about open relationships and poly living, The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy. This book is a practical humorous look at all types of open relationships from to authors who admit to trying all sorts of relationship styles and regaling us with stories from their lives.
If you are looking into open relationship styles or like me, opening your existing relationship then this book could be a stepping stone into understanding everything that goes on in your head, the feelings and how to deal with multiple people in your life. I know I picked up a tip or two about jealousy and communicating my fears. This 2nd edition of the book is very easy to follow, has sections on the history of sexual stereotypes, opening up your social understanding, how to become an open relationship practitioner, dealing with challenges and making connections.
It was quite an eye opener for me and my monogamous thinking. I’m more accepting of my responses to relationships and can see the value of every relationship I see. It has been a positive book for me.
I did have a constant hang up over the overuse of the terminology of slut and sluthood throughout the book. It gave the gravity of the life choice a looser feel and one less serious than what the co-authors would want you be believe. While I happily proclaim I am KnyghtMare’s slut I just couldn’t get behind using a “free-love” sort of term as slut for identifying as someone open to polyamory life styles.
The book gets a lot of good reviews on Amazon.com and I’m definitely in the ranks of finding this a valuable resource. What do you think? Have you read this book? Tell me in the comments how it rates for you!
Product Details
- lunaKM’s Rating: 8/10
- Paperback: 296 pages
- Publisher: Celestial Arts; 2nd edition (March 10, 2009)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1587613379
- Buy The Ethical Slut from Amazon Today!
My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time stay-at-home submissive in a D/s relationship.
I started blogging when I was exploring D/s online in 2003. I needed advice, mentors and helping hands. Since then I've made it my mission to help novice submissives understand themselves and the services they wish to provide. 
Dear Luna,
You’re a bigger person than I am. I couldn’t share or be involved with a man who
added to his world. Call me old fashion but, it seems to me that one woman is
more than enough. Bless you for having more understanding and patience than
I ever would.
Miss Milano
Long time reader/lurker, first time commenter. Just wanted to offer my support as you open your relationship. I’m in an open marriage and while it’s certainly not for everyone, it can be an incredibly rewarding and loving experience to see your partner happy with someone else and yourself.
I have recently read “The Ethical Slut”, as suggested by my Master, and it is truly an amazing book full of great ideas on how to cope with being in a polyamorous relationship. It opened me up to new ideas about relationships and fidelity. I highly recommend this book to anyone whose considering a poly relationship and who is already in a poly relationship!
Wow i had no idea this book was out there! Thank you Luna and everyone for also suggesting it! Master is talking about adding to O/our family and though i am not opposed, its not my first choice and i am very skeptical. i hope that in reading this, it helps me to cope and make Master even happier. He said that at this point, all He asks is that i genuinely try. If He sees theres no way it will work then He will not risk losing me. Thank you again for showing me a wonderful resource!
I read this book so many times. It has helped me so much in understanding my own feelings, my own jealousy, and accepting that these are my own emotions and that I shouldn’t project them out onto my partner, but that I should talk over my feelings with them in a mature, loving way. I am new to polyamory myself. And it has been a scary transition for me. But I have come to discover that it is possible to love more than one person. We’re still testing the waters, but I look forward to seeing where this journey will lead us. I wish you luck luna, in your own journey, and I hope that it brings nothing but good things for you and your Dom.
I read the book several years ago and am currently on my third copy (keep lending it out and needing to get a new one when it isn’t returned). I think the “road maps through jealousy” section should be read by all people, poly or mono. I found it spoke to me simply in an affirming manner that the ideas I’ve had since I was a teen weren’t entirely insane. Monogamy has never really felt right to me and the book helped me to see a few different perspectives that I hadn’t considered. One of the best books I’ve ever read by far.