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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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Tearing Down the Green-Eyed Monster - Handling Jealousy

Most confuse jealousy and envy. I know I've been bitten a few times by jealousy but thankfully I worked through them and realized that there was nothing to worry about. I've conquered jealousy and you can too. Today we'll talk about what jealousy is, compare it to envy and then figure out some tips on combating jealousy.

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Below the Mood of Blue: One Girl’s Experience With Depression

As a slave, it’s my responsibility to take care of me. A depressed slave isn’t able to give the best of service and a dead slave can’t serve at all.

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Taming the Green-Eyed Monster - Managing Jealousy in a Poly Family

Jealousy, unfortunately, is a recurrent emotion, even after years of a relationship. You cannot keep it from popping up now and then, but you can prepare yourself for its arrival.

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Reciprocity: Expectations of Transparency of the Dominant

Is it okay for the D-type to withhold information from their s-type?

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Dealing with Guilt as a Submissive

When it comes to dealing with guilt, you have to talk about it. You can’t just shove it somewhere deep inside and expect that to take care of everything. Neither can you throw yourself into an activity and consider it done. You have to talk it out with the person, no matter how difficult that may be.

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We’re So Much More than “Just Littles”

There are a lot of people in the lifestyle who don’t know how to understand, let alone handle littles. It’s frustrating to be pigeonholed as only one thing or another. Littles are so much more than the personae they adopt for play or in their relationships. The embrace the innocence of youth. Listen to one’s personal thoughts on the matter.

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The Importance of Self-Acceptance When You Are a Little

It’s hard not to internalize the negative messages from people who don’t understand the ageplay dynamic. But you can learn to accept who you are and come out stronger. I’ll give you my own story and some words of encouragement for you to build from. Accept who you are.

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It’s the Little Things: Building Small Unique Moments In Your Relationship Will Nurture Your Mono-Poly Relationships

Uniqueness is underrated. Everyone wants to be like everyone else, are comparing themselves to others in order to fit in, but it's the fun little unique aspects of a relationship that make it special. Kindling those unique things is especially important for me in a mono-poly and likely most other relationships.

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