Today is day 8 of the Submissive Advent Calendar. If you missed yesterday’s post you can  go back to that now, or  rewind all the way to the beginning. You can also  read the introduction post.

I know that one of the hardest things for me to do is to accept a compliment. I am not the only one, I'm sure. So I thought this was a perfect time of year to remind ourselves that no one gives compliments frivolously and that when we receive a compliment we should do so gracefully and without a doubt.

But I'm uncomfortable receiving compliments!

If you're uncomfortable receiving compliments, it's likely that you discount compliments and thereby stop the compliments from being made by that person again. The ways of discounting a compliment include: suggesting that it was nothing or that someone else could have done it better, thinking that the complimenter must be after something from you, being embarrassed and blushing or giving a compliment in return, being sarcastic or insisting that the complimenter doesn't mean what they say. Each of these ways of deflecting a compliment results in putting down both yourself and the giver of the compliment, so they're not actually very giving or kind responses.

Accept the compliment for what it is

In accepting a compliment, you are telling the other person that you trust their judgment, their wisdom and their sense of self. Accepting compliments also tells the other person that you appreciate what they have to say about you. More than anything, focus on  receiving the compliment rather than on its content. This helps you to acknowledge the compliment and express appreciation for it being given to you. Most importantly, since giving a compliment is a form of uttering an opinion, stop yourself from disagreeing with it or you risk downplaying someone else's opinion.


Don't forget to smile. Smiling says a lot without you requiring to say anything at all. Also, pay attention when you are being complimented. An emphatic thank you is much better than a sad "uh-huh."


How did you do with this today? If you haven't received a compliment yet that's okay. Just keep this one ready to go when you do!