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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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BDSM Checklists

If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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Article

Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better

As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

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Learning to Appreciate the Small Moments - Submissive Meditation Monday

Everyone has time in their lives where things don't feel like they are going their way at all. It can drag you down or you can search for the positive.

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31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 6: Why New Submissives Should Write a Submissive Journal

Can a journal help you when you are single or brand new to submission? And what would you put in it? Let me share with you a few ways that a journal can help you grow in learning and submission as a single submissive and as a new person to BDSM.

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31 Days of Submissive Journaling: Day 24 – Scene Reports: How they can Empower Your Playtime

A scene report is a written account of the who, what, when, where, why's of playtime. Explore why you might want to keep track of the scenes you've been in through journaling.

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6 Important Activities to Include in Your Aftercare Routine

For as important as after care is, it’s really easy to overlook or misinterpret what your aftercare routine should consist of, regardless of the scenes you’re practicing. Here are six easy activities you can add to your routine for smoother transitions after scenes.

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7 Signs You are Compatible With a Prospective Dominant

When you are looking for a Dominant for the first, or last, time, you have a few reasons to wonder if the person you see is compatible with you. After all, you don’t want to spend a lot of time getting to know someone if they are not going to be your perfect, or almost perfect, partner. Right? I’ve put together a few signs to help you tell if someone might be a good match for you.

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Article

Why SSC and RACK Are Both Important Safety Acronyms to Know

The mantra “Safe, Sane, Consensual” (SSC) is probably one of the first things that someone new to the scene learns. RACK stands for two principles designed to give you the opportunity to move outside of your current comfort zones, into a place of interest.

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Article

What's The Big Deal With BDSM Checklists?

For a novice submissive exploring SM, a checklist can open up a world of fantasies or scare you right back into your light kink and rough sex. Checklists are not meant to scare you or overwhelm you, but I've seen lists that are more like lists of all sorts of rare fetishes and extreme play that only a few ever explore. Why you would want or need that on a novice checklist is beyond me.

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