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Recommended Reading for New Submissives

The following is a list of books that I recommend for every novice submissive. The links lead you to Amazon if you are interested in buying the books. Part of your purchase goes towards supporting this site and my efforts at continuing to bring you content on this site.

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What You Don’t Know About Using Safewords Could Harm You - Get The Facts

Safety comes in many forms and at any level of risk awareness. One of the very first things you learn when you encounter BDSM is the use of safewords. But now, I feel it’s time to gather everything together and really dig deep into safewords; from their use, the safety implied and some of the problems safewords cause.

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Why The Prince Charming Dominant Doesn't Exist

It's funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for "chemistry" as well. They want to fall in love with the Dominant of their dreams. Apparently, these submissives have come into the lifestyle thinking that a Dominant is BDSMs version of Prince Charming. Ladies, He simply doesn't exist either in the Vanilla world or in the lifestyle. Most Doms I know have regular lives to live and when their backside itches they scratch it. They fart when they eat beans and burp when they drink a beer. They wake up with bags under their eyes and a 5 o'clock shadow just exactly like their vanilla counterparts. But here we are hoping like crazy that he will forever and ever look like a hottie in leathers while always having a desire to flog our submissive little behinds.

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How to Use Role Play to Spice Up Your Sex Life

A lot of what we do can classify itself under role-playing. In fact D/s is a form of role-play. For many people it is just a character they don to play or have some kinky fun; it's not a part of their personality. The idea of role playing is taking on another persona other than yourself to enact that character. It can be short or long term.

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Creating a Personal Submissive Protocol

A personal protocol helps to organize your life and help you reach your goals. It's built with a checks and balances system so that you stay on track. I would like to encourage you to consider developing some personal protocols of your own.

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Are Female Dominants More About Mental Dominance Than Physical Dominance?

Since I’m writing from the male submissive point of view, I suppose this question might also be asked as, “Is male submission more mental than physical?” I find the question, no matter how you parse it, to be interesting largely because it’s something I never really considered before. I suppose the implied idea is that the female dominants somehow exert their control vis-à-vis more cerebral or psychological means whereas the men tend toward more physical means.

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BDSM Books You Can Get on Kindle

Books are a wonderful way to learn on your own about BDSM, submission, sex and all the other activities you can explore. But who wants to carry a BDSM book onto the bus? Kindle (and other readers) are an excellent way to hide your book choices and still bring them all with you.

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Fainting, Headaches and Nausea: Facing Sudden Illness During Play/Scene Time

When we play we have a chance that the blissful time we are experiencing will end well or may end suddenly from something unexpected. Yes we do everything we can to avoid having to stop play but when sudden illness takes hold the best thing is to stop and treat the problem.

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What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene

I'd like you to understand that it is okay to find limits you didn't know where there. They could be play activities that you never experienced before that you found you don't like or it could be a pain or sensation edge. Either way, it does not make you any less of a person or a submissive or a masochist. It actually makes you that much more unique and special.

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3 Easy Steps to Setting the Mood - Make Your Playtime More Orgasmic, Full of Energy and Fun

Sure we can! Just because we love rope, leather, floggers, and control doesn’t mean we can’t have the mood set beforehand. So, what do you do?

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