Unrealistic expectations and desires are some of the most difficult challenges faced by those who are experienced in the lifestyle when dealing with those just entering the lifestyle. In many ways we each buy into a particular ‘aspect’ of the fantasy. Yet over and over people try to implement the impossible.
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It all starts with your mind. As a submissive, if you feel that it just can't happen then it won't. You have to be willing to accept the possibility that an orgasm without physical stimulus is possible and that you want it.
Read The Article | Find SimilarApplying mentoring to a BDSM context a mentor is someone that guides and advises a newbie on what to expect, things they might want learn and other items. I believe a mentor should be on the same level as you. There are many opinions out there, but common sense advice can be found in the following series of articles about mentors.
Read The Series | Find SimilarNo matter how you go about it, setting realistic goals and then working towards success is a step by step process. You have the tools available to make changes in your life if you want them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Treat them like anything else in your life worth doing and you can make it. Use the resources below to make the progress stick.
Read The Series | Find SimilarSubmissives all over seem to know what they want out of a relationship; it's always present in their minds. The play, the sex, the love or strictness of dominance. Wants are very valid to the happiness in your life, but more important are the needs. When you think of needs, the list seems to come harder and people struggle more with defining what they really need.
Read The Article | Find SimilarOnce you have your list worked out and are satisfied with how important it is for you to have these needs met, it's time to express them. Not only will it keep your submissive transparent, but it will provide you with information on your partner's wants and needs. Needs lists are not negotiable. You shouldn't settle and you should never have someone convince you that your needs aren't important.
Read The Article | Find SimilarIf your only view of BDSM is the online community then you could believe that BDSM and being kinky is a huge playground and that a lot of people participate in it openly. And you’d be wrong. While a a good portion of the US population admits they are kinky (10% according to NCSF) most of those are not going to participate in a BDSM community or step further than silk blindfolds and light bondage.
Read The Article | Find SimilarOne of the more intimate ways that we submissives can serve our Dominants is by learning and performing grooming duties usually left to themselves to do.
Read The Article | Find SimilarI have never been a cusser. Never. But Sir really likes it. He is wonderfully patient with me, and disciplines as seems fit...but I am hoping that there is some advice to help me become more "natural" with the language. Is there some "bad language" cheat sheet that I could study?
Read The Article | Find SimilarI am not satisfied with my boyfriend. I don't know how to go about telling him, I want to be dominated.
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