I am quite new in action to the lifestyle, but far from new in thought. I have known basically forever that I am a submissive...but have been stuck on knowing what to do about it.
I am now quite happily with my Sir. He seems very pleased with my natural submissiveness...but we have one are that I am struggling with. I really want to please Him...and don't want this to become a block.
I have never been a cusser. Never. But Sir really likes it. I use the words that He has told me to use...but sometimes I forget and become quite proper in my speech. He is wonderfully patient with me, and disciplines as seems fit...but I am hoping that there is some advice to help me become more "natural" with the language.
Is there some "bad language" cheat sheet that I could study? I have an excellent memory, and think that I could quickly memorize several things that I could try to use quite often for Him. Would be a pity to let words be my repeat offense for Sir.
Thank you for your help...and this site...
Hello 'not a cusser',
Learning to add dirty language to your repertoire is certainly something challenging if you aren't normally used to using it.
Now you haven't indicated if the language will be used in everyday exchanges or in the bedroom/play space so I'll give you a few tips for each scenario that hopefully helps you out.
First, I'm personally not allowed to swear except in the bedroom. I've never been much into swearing anyway but I find it very hot to talk dirty when he's doing naughty and wonderful things to me. It can make a good time that much better if you do it right.
It takes practice. I'm sure there are a few times I've tested out new phrases I heard in porn or something and they didn't go over well. I think one even ended up in giggles and chortles.
Try to make them feel comfortable and a natural part of your speech when it's needed. Don't force it. He's given you a few words that he likes to hear, so the next time you fantasize or masturbate (or both) then use them as a part of trying to feel more natural to you.
An excellent book to help you be more comfortable using the words is called " Exhibitionism for the Shy" by Carol Queen. It covers a lot of different forms of exhibitionism including using more vulgar language. I've reviewed it here if you need convincing that the book might help you.
Now if you are being asked to use more vulgarity in everyday speech then it definitely is going to take practice and a decent variety of words that you can make work in conversations with him.
Perhaps, since you favor proper English and said you can memorize things well is that you find synonyms for words that have a vulgar phrase and try those out on him and see what he prefers. That way you can pick up the sort of language he likes.
Also, knowing when and where this language shift is welcome will help you adjust. I'm sure he wants you to use proper English around family and children but what about public places? Interactions with friends? Find out where the boundaries are for your new swearing.
All in all the real solid advice is that it's going to take practice and learning to be comfortable with it.
As to your request for a swearing cheat sheet, you have several options. There are books and websites available to you with swear words listed, dictionaries of sorts of vulgar phrases and cursing help. I'll compile a list here but I can't confirm the correctness of any of them since I haven't done any extensive reading. Perhaps someone else can help with that?
- www.noswearing.com - bad word dictionary listing
- Online Slang Dictionary - Slang, swearing and urban words dictionary
- Watch Your F*cking Language: How to swear effectively, explained in explicit detail and enhanced by numerous examples taken from everyday life
- English as a Second F*cking Language: How to Swear Effectively, Explained in Detail with Numerous Examples Taken From Everyday Life