Why did we get stuck on sting and thud as the only two possibilities to describe what we like in pain play anyway? I don’t think we’ve expanded the types of play activities that much in recent years to not know of other sensations than stingy and thuddy to describe them.
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In this BDSM Glossary series I help you understand some of the common and less common words and phrases used throughout the BDSM community.
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As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?
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There are lots of reasons and issues which propelled the existence of the Safe Word in the BDSM community. Many were quite valid and useful to distinguish the community from its ugly cousin ‘physical abuse’. The issue of consent being the bottomline.
Read The Article | Find SimilarBeing an emotionally healthy person is a goal that all of us have but a smaller margin actually accomplish. With the constant stress of commitments and modern day obligations, our emotions face the brunt of it. The goal of a submissive is to seek that balance in emotional states so that our service appears stress-free and sincere; even if we have a lot going on in the background. Living as an emotionally healthy submissive takes knowing what is considered healthy to begin with.
Read The Series | Find SimilarSure she has some creative ideas on how to play out scenes, but she won't get my support for this book.
Read The Review | Find Similar"Consensual rape." Quite an oxymoron, I suppose. Rape, by definition, is sexual intercourse in which one party is unwilling and unwanting of the attention and act. A consensual act is something quite contrary to that initial concept of rape. A consensual act is one in which all parties are in agreement as to the parameters, activities, and boundaries of said act. How then, does the term "consensual rape" have any validity at all?
Read The Article | Find SimilarA slap can say a lot of things, given the circumstances and the parties involved. To some, a slap in the face can say “I love you.” It can say, “you've fucked up.” It can say any number of things in between. But something it will always convey is “you're Mine.” The control and the ownership that is inherent in that one motion can be overwhelming. He loves me enough to discipline me when I need it.
Read The Article | Find SimilarMany submissive men have fantasies which have been developed over many years, sometimes leading to a focus on extreme and/or specific situations despite not having experienced anything. This may lead to misunderstandings with potential partners between fantasies and actual desires as the sub man may not even be able to recognize the difference at first.
Read The Article | Find SimilarMany aspects of BDSM are similar to addictions and Frenzies can be considered to be the 'withdrawal' stage. The peculiar thing about this is that a submissive need not ever have engaged in a real life D/s BDSM experience to actually go into this state of need
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