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Collars and Collaring

A collar symbolizes your commitment and quite often your love and devotion to the Dominant. A collar for submissives is one of the most fundamental symbols of their relationship and one that is usually guarded and protected with their heart.There are no right or wrong ways to be collared. They can be formal or informal. They can be private or in front of a group of your friends and “family”. For those of you who wish to plan a more formal celebration, there are many things to consider.

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BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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How To Identify Potential Fake Dominants, Predators and Posers

Fake Dominants are everywhere and have many tricks up their sleeve. I'm sure I've even scratched the surface of what things they can do to try to get you to believe in them and open up. Stay safe, use your common sense and if it feels wrong it probably is.

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A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment

Every submissive I know, including myself, hate to get into trouble, but it's going to happen. We have to admit that there will be times of backsliding, pushing limits and general disobedience in our learning. It's a part of growth. Don't think of punishment as something bad, but as something to help us grow inward.

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The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene

Negotiating play is vital for new players or for those who have never played together. Once you get to know someone it is likely that unless you have something you'd really like to experience you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity.

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Submissive and Slave: A Personal View

Some say the difference between a submissive and a slave has nothing whatever to do with how much control one gives up or how submissive one is. That it's in one's actions. In the way the slave obeys without question or hesitation. In the respect in the slave's voice when he or she speaks with his or her owner. In the way the slave knows what the owner needs almost before the owner does. But I've known some submissives to show their dominants more respect than some slaves show their owners.

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Do Bottoms Have a Bad Rap Among Submissives?

When we think of bottoms or have interactions with bottoms, there are many negative connotations that come to mind.

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A Day in the Life: nan{SL}

This is an entry in the ongoing series where we take a look at one day in the life of submissives and slaves just like you. {nan}SL shares a snapshot of here day here.

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The Formal Collar

The Formal Collar is offered by the Dominant with the intent to formalize the bond and attachment between themselves and their submissive. It is a recognition of commitment, deep emotional feelings, devotion, mutual respect, and consideration. It expresses a belief that the Dominant and submissive share similar ideals and a genuine and growing desire to share each other’s lives over perhaps the rest of their lives.

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What NOT to Do and Say When Someone You Know is Uncollared

The intensely emotional end of a D/s relationship, where one no longer wears a collar can be a moment where you as a friend can shine, but keep in mind the consideration and delicate nature of bringing up a painful discussion. Let’s discuss some possible etiquette around a friend who has been recently uncollared.

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