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How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

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Series

Novice Submissives Start Here

Newness doesn’t last long, so enjoy it. Love the exploration, the learning, the desires that seem to creep into every waking moment and fill every dream. Explore this collection of basics to your new submissive journey and pick up some much needed confidence that you are ready to take steps into the world of D/s.

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Mentors

Applying mentoring to a BDSM context a mentor is someone that guides and advises a newbie on what to expect, things they might want learn and other items. I believe a mentor should be on the same level as you. There are many opinions out there, but common sense advice can be found in the following series of articles about mentors.

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Discipline and Punishment

Discipline comes in all shapes and sizes.It is a part of molding a submissive’s behavior and making corrections when they step out of line. Punishment though is a different beast. Punishment is for very severe infractions. I consider this to be things that could be deal breakers or relationship-enders. Punishment of this caliber should be rare or not at all. These differences are discussed and explored in the following series.

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When Worlds Collide: A Personal Story of Being Kinky in a Vanilla World

This was the first time our vanilla life and our kinky life had come into any sort of conflict, albeit mild. It seems as if the deeper into the lifestyle we get, the edges between the two worlds begin to blur.

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What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community

FetLife, for as long as it remains a free community will always be the place I recommend novices go to lurk in the groups and feed off of information that they get there. It is the largest no-nonesense group of people I've seen. FetLife has changed the community atmosphere. It really has. Better or worse is personal opinion, but I know that for me it has a lot going for it. As it ages I think it will get more refined with the quality instead of just quantity. I'll be there to see it age. Hopefully you will join me there.

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Purging Your Emotional Garbage Can Will Prepare You Better for Service

I'm sure we've all heard that this or that person comes with too much baggage. The reason I see that this is an issue at all in new relationships is due to the way it's handled. That baggage, whether it be debt, past partners still present somehow, grief, emotional issues or any other items that are brought in can weigh hard on the responsibilities of the new partner and how they interact with each other. Now, couple that with this unreal belief that a Dominant will 'fix' all that for the submissive and you are dealing with an explosive situation.

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Is There Love in BDSM Relationships?

What stands out most to me as we approach Valentine's Day is the ways that we have love and romance built right into our relationship system. BDSM relationships can be filled with extraordinary displays of love.

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The Best Part About Submission is Our Ability to Choose

If asked what the best part about submission is there are a million ways to answer. But the best part is our ability to choose.

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Transformed: How Power Exchange Changed Us For The Better

We called the marriage counselor as a last-ditch effort to resuscitate “us” and it was the first move towards the life I had never imagined but somehow of which I had still always dreamt.

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