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Recommended Reading for New Submissives

The following is a list of books that I recommend for every novice submissive. The links lead you to Amazon if you are interested in buying the books. Part of your purchase goes towards supporting this site and my efforts at continuing to bring you content on this site.

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Series

BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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Pain Processing

Sadomasochism is the giving and receiving of sensations. In a lot of cases, this also includes pain. Many of the sadomasochistic tendencies bleed into our relationships in some form or another so what better discussion than to talk about processing pain. Now, no matter what processing method you use, there are ways you can learn to process pain differently to enjoy pain play more fully, allow you to take more pain and to push your pain edge further.

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Tickle My Tush: Mild-to-Wild Analplay Adventures for Everybooty

If you have any experience at all with anal play already then this book might be a little too shallow for you. But if you are brand new to exploring your or your partner's anus then you might want to pick up it up.

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A Safer Kinky Sex How-To

Many of the BDSM activities we may engage in are inherently sexual in nature, even if no sex actually occurs. Being aware and using safe sex barriers when necessary is your protection from disease and infection. I'm amazed by casual play partners that don't employ these simple techniques to protect themselves and future partners. But even monogamous relationships might use safe sex barriers to prevent pregnancy and for ease of clean up.

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You Don't Have to Be a Porn Star or Fashion Model to Participate in BDSM

You've seen the porn on Kink.com and other places and you notice that most of the pictures on FetLife are of fit, healthy people dressed in latex and leather from head to toe. You can't possibly fit into the BDSM world. Wrong.

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Sample Consensual "Slavery" Contract

A simple sample contract you can use to create your own.

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To Be or Not To Be - Poly, Mono, Mono-Poly Flexible

Blyss helps you decide if either monogamy or polyamory is a better fit. She covers jealousy, compersion, personal insecurities and understandings of poly.

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What To Do When You’re Unhappy in Your D/s Relationship

How to effect change when your D/s relationship leaves your unfulfilled, confused and miserable starts with communication. But Kayla has more advice for you if that doesn't work.

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