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How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

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DIY: Knife & Blood Play

Knife and Blood play, as you can probably guess, comes with a lot of intrinsic danger - so before embarking in this type of play, you need to make sure that you have an adequate safety kit ready.

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What You Should Know About Safewords

BDSM play can be risky, does bring about the potential for uncomfortable situations, raises physical limitations or triggers mental or emotional walls to come crashing down. In any of these instances, it would be very helpful to have a way to alert the dominant. Safewords are a verbal security blanket.

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After "Red" : How to Manage the Aftermath When You've Used Your Safeword

You should never fear using your safeword. There are ways to deal with the guilt, disappointment, fear, sense of failure for using your safeword and the failing to use your safeword at all that many of us feel at one time or another.

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Can You Separate BDSM and Sex?

But can you really separate the sex from BDSM? You have to admit that much of what we do during play time is rooted in sexual pleasure and sensation. Even if you are never touched sexually you can achieve orgasm. Does this make it sex or BDSM?

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Exploring Impact Play: A Variety of Pleasures

Impact play for me is very freeing sometimes it’s like a very intense full body massage breaking the stress of the day, the week, the month. I personally prefer when Sir uses his hands it makes it so much more personal and I believe strengthens our connection, however floggers and paddles can take me there as well.

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Why BDSM and Sex are Not Always Connected

Sure it may turn you on, but you still get to decide how far you go to care for that. After all, BDSM is about exchanging sensations and exploring your body's responses to stimulus. It is not always sex.

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The Real Truth About a Dominant's Limits

A Dominant has limits just like submissives do. There are things that don’t interest them, or that they have a moral or ethical standing that will prevent them from exploring something. Over the years I have heard many times that Dominants should have a checklist also and I agree.

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What Should I Try Next: Like Service-based Play? Try Serving Others

If it pleases you like it pleases me to serve your Partner, consider adding service based play that involves other consenting parties. Adding things like hosting parties, formal tea parties or D/s dinners can make you feel good about offering your service.

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What Should I Try Next: Like Role Play? Try Medical Play!

A great way to push the envelope in role play is by trying out medical play. Medical play lends itself so easily to BDSM. You can include bondage (stirrups, anybody?), massively amplify power roles (doctor taking advantage of patient is so taboo), and include new elements of sado-masochistic play.

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