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Article

What Do Female Dominants Desire in a Male Submissive?

Do dominant women like this, that or the other thing? Unfortunately, there is no one set of ideal submissive traits that can be emulated. Indeed, if you ask these questions of twenty different Dominas, you’ll get at least twenty different answers. Each Dominant has her own idea of what makes a perfect submissive or slave. Some like youth and physical fitness, others like maturity and experience, tall or short, eloquent or not-so-much, pain slut or light-weight, sissy or not, emotive or the strong/silent type… well, as you can imagine, that list goes on and on. The problem, as I see it, is that too many (prospective) submissives get bogged down in trivial matters when they should be focusing on simple truth and sincerity.

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Series

BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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Limits

Limits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.

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Setting Goals

No matter how you go about it, setting realistic goals and then working towards success is a step by step process. You have the tools available to make changes in your life if you want them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Treat them like anything else in your life worth doing and you can make it. Use the resources below to make the progress stick.

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Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino

If you are in an open relationship of any kind or are thinking about entering into an open relationship or thinking about opening up your current relationship, you need to read this book.

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Dating in the Lifestyle; What's the Big Deal?

I feel that we approach a Lifestyle date very differently than we would in a vanilla context.

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What NOT to Share on Your Online Profile

We all have one somewhere. FetLife being all the rage right now, but also we have alt.com, collarme.com, bondage.com, and others where we place ads and identity profiles up to get people interested. This interest can be friends or relationship related; it doesn't matter. What does matter is what we broadcast to everyone that happens across our profiles? You need to keep some things secure and really consider what's necessary to put out into the World Wide Web.

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How to Use FetLife to Broaden Your BDSM Learning

I'd like to walk you through the ways that I use to find information and continue my learning with FetLife.

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BDSM Basics - How Do I Find Someone to Play With?

How to find someone to experiment with and maybe have a relationship with.

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How Searching for a Compatible Partner is Like Apartment Hunting

There are many similarities between apartment hunting and hunting for a compatible partner. I know, silly, right? NO, hear me out.

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