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Content related to "How Protocol Develops in D/s Relationships"

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Collars and Collaring

A collar symbolizes your commitment and quite often your love and devotion to the Dominant. A collar for submissives is one of the most fundamental symbols of their relationship and one that is usually guarded and protected with their heart.There are no right or wrong ways to be collared. They can be formal or informal. They can be private or in front of a group of your friends and “family”. For those of you who wish to plan a more formal celebration, there are many things to consider.

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Submissive Positions

Submissive Positions are talked about all over like everyone is supposed to be doing them or something. Not every relationship is set up to provide that level of protocol and you should never expect a relationship to automatically have that. If you are interested in positions, ask your partner or prospective partner if they’d be interested before you go learning any. They may have preferences to how you should look and act. Following them is by far more important than learning about positions online (unless that is their direction).

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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My Submissive Code of Ethics

I’ve been developing a submissive code of ethics for myself to help give me long term goals and a focus. I feel it will bring about change in me that perhaps I can’t see yet. I thought I would share it here so that you can perhaps get some ideas for developing your own code of ethics.

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Are Female Dominants More About Mental Dominance Than Physical Dominance?

Since I’m writing from the male submissive point of view, I suppose this question might also be asked as, “Is male submission more mental than physical?” I find the question, no matter how you parse it, to be interesting largely because it’s something I never really considered before. I suppose the implied idea is that the female dominants somehow exert their control vis-à-vis more cerebral or psychological means whereas the men tend toward more physical means.

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How a Personal Protocol Can Aide Your Service

The first time I heard the word protocol when introduced to BDSM it was some special ritualized order of things that can happen in a relationship. It was an unspoken word when I was single. You didn't learn about protocol and no one I knew used a protocol to govern their own development and personal growth.

I'd like to change that. A personal protocol can bring you ahead of the game, no matter where you are in your submissive journey. In this article I'd like to give you a working definition of a personal protocol, how you can develop one whether you are single or in a relationship and what it can do for you.

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What Does Breaking the Rules and Testing a Dominant's Limits Help You Learn?

I had a question sent to me the other day asking for suggestions and strategies that a novice submissive could use to make sure they don't break the rules while they are still learning which sparked this topic for me.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech 1: Addressing Individuals

In a BDSM context, it’s more common to have to learn how to address someone than in a non-scene situation.

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Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol (Part 6 of 7) - A Few Notes on High Protocol

While good manners are important in all situations, leather protocol should not be a source of anxiety for novice doms and subs. In part 6 of Ambrosio's series on Protocol and Etiquette, a few rules for formal introductions, dining and general "vanilla" etiquette are covered.

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