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Content related to "How Protocol Develops in D/s Relationships"

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For Male Submissives

While this site is predominantly written by and for female submissives, a lot of what we write about can apply to male submissives too. But there are topics that are specific to male submissives and relationships where the male is submissive and we’ve curated them into a single collection for you here.

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BDSM Checklists

If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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Submissive Mindset

The submissive mindset is the inner joy that manifests in many ways for each person. When someone says they have to be in the submissive mindset it means they have to feel a connection with what they are doing and the bliss of service and submission. But for many it’s hard to maintain or achieve in the first place! Let’s dive into the sticky details.

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Adding Rules in a D/s (or M/s) Relationship

Adding rules to a dynamic, whether for the first time or continuing a list is not easy.

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How to Revive Your Service When Protocol Becomes Boring

The pleasure I felt wasn't just sexual it was like a part of my soul was finally being satisfied. It didn't last. After a few months, I started to feel less happy about my protocol. It felt less like bliss and more like a chore. I had lost the attachment to WHY the protocol was in place, to begin with; the reminder of my place in the relationship. The honeymoon period was over. Things got really rocky in our relationship because the effort involved in doing the protocol got more and more difficult for me, and the stress he experienced was just as bad.

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What are Dress Protocols?

A dress protocol is established by a Dominant as the way a submissive is to present themselves for any specific situation. These can be basic grooming habits to very precise details to what to wear to dinner or bed. A lot of times these are the first rules established in a relationship. These can start out as directions for when and what to keep shaved, how to care for your hair, or if you can wear panties or not.

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Let’s Party! Finding Local Play Parties

Parties are a ‘rite of passage’ for some in the BDSM community. How do you find one? What can you expect? And most importantly (for me) what on earth can you wear?

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Altered Submissive Speech - Thoughts and Ideas on How to Implement Third Person Speech and other Protocols

In all situations, altering speech and writing is to do an important task of reminding the person that they are not in control of themselves, which includes their speech. They are asked to use deference in situations that call for it and even to learn a new way to talk to keep them in the role.

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Solo Coaching - Glass Half Empty or Half Full: Working on a Positive Point of View

Did you know that how you see the world isn't what makes your life positive or negative, it's how you interpret your life's events that can turn the glass half full to half empty? Your skill in interpreting events and experiences for better or worse lies in your hands.

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Self-Esteem in Submissives: Self-Talk, Affirmations and Self-Love

Whether dominant or submissive, we have been shaped by our pasts. Many of us take the messages we heard in our childhood, into our adult lives and still believe these terrible things about ourselves.

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